Monday, January 8, 2024

WCW Bash At The Beach 1996 Review - July 7th, 1996

WCW Bash at the Beach
July 7th, 1996
Daytona Beach, Florida

“It’s more than just the bash at the beach. It’s the attempt at a hostile takeover.”

WCW World Champion: The Giant (since 4/29/96)
WCW US Champion: Konnan (since 1/29/96)
WCW Tag Team Champions: Harlem Heat (Booker T & Stevie Ray) (since 6/24/96)
WCW TV Champion: Lex Luger (since 3/6/96)
WCW Cruserweight Champion: Dean Malenko (since 5/18/96) 

Commentators - Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, & Dusty Rhodes

The boys open the show talking about the morale of the locker room heading into tonight’s event and the unknown about the Outsiders, their attempted takeover, and their mysterious third man. 

1) Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Psychosis 

I don’t know where to start with this one. Or really even the words to say to properly review such a legendary match and one that holds up here, almost 30 years later. I had seen this match a few times before, but this was my first time in about 10 years. And man, I can’t lie. I watched it 3-4 times before moving forward with this show. It was just such a statement match and completely groundbreaking for its time. These two put on the most insane display of highflying and Lucha style pro wrestling. Just watch this match. Good lord. One of the best 15 min sprints ever in pro wrestling. Misterio wins at 15:18.

Match rating - ****1/2

Backstage, Konnan makes a statement toward Ric Flair and says no matter what he’s leaving with his US Title still in tact tonight. 

2) John Tenta vs. Big Bubba (w/ Jimmy Hart) - Carson City Silver Dollar On A Pole Match 

“He’s got a leash around his neck, maybe he’s gonna take him outside.. maybe it’s that time of day.” -Bobby Heenan

Russo baby. Two 300+ boys climbing a pole. We are here. And it’s about as dumb as you’d expect. But atleast it’s entertaining.. sort of. They do shit. Choke each other with a strap. Jimmy climbs the pole for Tenta, but Bubba knocks Tenta on his ass while Hart is on the pole and takes the silver dollars from Hart when he comes down to win the match. 

Match rating - **

Backstage, Macho & Luger are fired the fuck up and they’re honored to be a part of the team representing WCW against the outsiders tonight. Sting says the unknown makes his mouth water so it doesn’t matter who the surprise man is. LETS GOO.

3) Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan - Lord of the Ring Taped Fist Match 

This doesn’t overstay it’s welcome, but is largely worthless. DDP is a blast as per usual recently, but Duggan barely holds it together and this is just meh. DDP wins with the cutter.

Match rating - *3/4

Backstage, Mean Gene has The Giant, Jimmy Hart & Taskmaster. They talk about Kevin Sullivan not being the weak link of the Dungeon of Doom and how the Horsemen aren’t the elite. 

Back in the arena, Arn Anderson & Chris Benoit respond and Arn says he’s been walking the streets of Daytona Beach hearing people say Sullivan is gonna give him a beating, but they’re gonna cut him and the Giant in half. Benoit then speaks and says SILENT BUT VIOLENT and he’s gonna leave Sullivan for dead. Tonight, the horsemen reign supreme. 

4) The Nasty Boys vs. Public Enemy - Double Dog Collar Match 

“This is messy…” -Tony Schiavone

It was indeed messy. The tables didn't break. They were falling all over the place. But isn't that what is to be expected of this type of match and these individuals? Real life brawls are messy. So, yeah. I did not hate this. They make good utilization of the stage props like the lifeguard stand and such. The finish is a little weird, but all in all. Good lil brawl. 

Match rating - **1/2

Backstage, The Outsiders have arrived and Mean Gene says they have them locked in a room with security in front of it to make sure they stay put until their match later. Dusty says that WCW has better security than the White House tonight...

5) Dean Malenko vs. Disco Inferno

King Dean beating the actual hell out of dumbass Disco Inferno. We love to see it, honestly. In the end, he taps him out to the Texas cloverleaf. This was honestly better than I anticipated it to be on paper.

Match rating - **3/4

6) Steve McMichael (w/ Debra) vs. Joe Gomez 

This is just.. bad news bears. Bad news fucking bears. They try and they try pretty hard. But it is not good. Poor fellas. Goodbye. Mongo McMichael takes the W after they struggle to hold it together.

Match rating - 1/2*

Backstage, Woman is getting Mean Gene ruffled by rubbing up on him. Ric Flair says Konnan might have 1,000 holds, but he’s got unlimited knowledge on pro wrestling. Gene asks Ms Elizabeth about a party she’s throwing tonight. Woman wants Gene to come so she can have a private party with him. Good fucking lord. Mean Gene you better lay down for that woman. No pun intended. “KONNAN, GRAB YOUR BEST HOLD, KID.” 

7) Konnan (c) vs. Ric Flair (w/ Miss Elizabeth & Woman) - WCW US Heavyweight Title Match 

This is fine, but goes on entirely too long and should’ve ended after the first low blow from Woman. Flair does his usual things that make a match good and Konnan is pretty much just there. Flair wins the title in the end off a shoe shot from Woman. 

Match rating - **

8) Chris Benoit & Arn Anderson vs. The Giant & Taskmaster Kevin Sullivan (w/ Jimmy Hart)

"Horseman styleeeeee." 

The Horsemen attack Giant & Sullivan in the aisleway. They get Giant distracted and it allows them to isolate Sullivan for a while once things get into the ring. It's a Benoit/Anderson control segment so it's great. They build toward the hot tag for Giant. Once he gets in, he makes shortwork of Arn while Benoit & Sullivan brawl up by the announce desk and into the beach set up. Chokeslam finishes off Anderson. This was damn chaos.

Match rating - **1/4

9) The Outsiders (Scott Hall, Kevin Nash & ???) vs. Sting, Lex Luger, & "Macho Man" Randy Savage

Nash and Hall get introduced first. The ring announcer Michael apologizes for there not being three guys like was advertised. Mean Gene comes out to confront Hall & Nash and ask where their partner is. Hall says all he needs to know is that he's here and he's ready. Nash says they're enough to handle this on their own right now. Luger, Sting, & Savage come out and the bells rings as commentators put over the uneasiness of not knowing where this mysterious third man is. After a long staredown, Hall and Luger begin. Luger slaps Hall and gets a boot to the gut and some right hands. It doesn't take long to break down and Luger's throat gets crushed on the top turnbuckle in the middle of Sting attempting to splash on Nash. They stretcher him out which evens the odds to a 2v2 match. Tony finally refers to the Outsiders by names.. "Hall on your left, Nash on your right" .. STING CHARGES HALL AND STARTS SLAMMING HIM ON THE MAT OVER AND OVER. BY FUCKING GOD. 

He got some nice fire in before Hall & Nash begin working him over. Sting gets some separation after about five minutes of being beaten down, but Hall cuts it off. Nash puts him in a hold and the face in peril work on Sting continues. Sting finally breaks free and dives over Nash and almost crashes into Macho Man for the tag and the place fucking explodes. Savage with a chopblock to the back of Hall on the floor. He's clearing house and eats a lowblow from Nash. Everyone is down, now and HERE COMES HULK HOGAN!!! Tony & Dusty are cheering him on, but Heenan immediately questions-- "WHO'S SIDE IS HE ON? BUT WHO'S SIDE IS HE ON?" Hogan rips his shirt off and fucking leg drops Savage. He hits multiple on him and points at Hall & Nash as they stand up on the apron. He cockily pins Savage and Hall, Nash & Hogan celebrate. The commentators ask "where do we go from here? what do we do now?" 

Match rating - ***

The fans start throwing shit in the ring at Hogan, Nash, and Hall. Mean Gene Okerlund climbs in the ring and asks Hulk what the hell he's thinking. Mean Gene says him joining up with Hall & Nash makes him SICK to his stomach. Hogan says this is the New World Order of Pro Wrestling. Hogan, in other non specific words, says he made WWF a ton of money, and his name got bigger than the company itself so Billionare Ted came calling and made him a bunch of promises he couldn't keep. Hogan is BORED of the WCW. They're taking over the world of pro wrestling. Hogan says he did everything for the fans, he did all the charity work, and the reaction he got? THE FANS CAN STICK IT. He says he was selling out the world while they were struggling to get gas to get to high school. WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE NEW WORLD ORGANIZATION RUNS WILD ON YOU??! Insane god damn promo from this real life piece of shit.

"Hulk Hogan... you can go to hell. Straight to hell." -Tony Schiavone to close the broadcast

1 comment:

  1. The shove before the Leg Drop is perfection.