June 15th, 2003
Intercontinental Champion: Christian (since 5/18/03)
World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane (3/31/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz (since 4/27/03)
Opening video package is awesome. It recaps how we ended up at H & Nash in Hell in a Cell with Foley as the special ref.
“And believe me, there will be hell unleashed…” -Mick Foley
Commentators - Jim Ross & Jerry “The King” Lawler
“LOOK OUT!” -Jerry Lawler
1) The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D-Von) vs. Rodney Mack & Christopher Nowinski (w/ Theodore Long)
“Why is your white brother always telling you to get the tables?” -Chris Nowinski
Mack and D-Von lock up before the bell. It’s awkward and not as cool as shit like that is sometimes, lol. So what a start! Crowd seems hot, this show feels.. cool? Which anything will feel better on the eyes and ears after the atrocity that was Insurrextion a week prior. Anyways. This match really is all about that quote from Nowinski I wrote out at the top of this match review. This is a perfectly fine opener. Good work from everybody. Bubba gets a nice hot tag, there’s a good near fall or two. Teddy gets on the apron and distracts D-Von when Bubba does the “get the tables” spot and it costs them that moment. D-Von goes to swing at Teddy and Rodney nails him from behind and shit goes downhill from here. Bad finish with Nowinski getting the cheap victory over Bubba. Fun match otherwise.
Match rating - **
King & JR replay how all the different contests that will take place in the Redneck Triathlon were determined.
This leads into Terri, backstage, hosting the first event in this.. triathlon between Steve Austin & Eric Bischoff.. a burping contest. This is.. somethin else. These burps are so clearly phoned in.. it’s .. bad lmao. I have to go, y’all.. Austin wins the “contest” for those who care.
2) Test vs. Scott Steiner
“You’ve always been a little voyeuristic.” -Jim Ross