Saturday, March 26, 2022

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Insurrextion 2003 - June 7th, 2003

WWE Insurrextion 
Newcastle, England
June 7th, 2003

World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H (since 12/15/02)
Intercontinental Champion: Christian (since 5/18/03)
World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane (3/31/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz (since 4/27/03)

Commentary - Jim Ross & Jerry “The King” Lawler 

1) Jazz (c) (w/ Theodore Long) vs. Trish Stratus - Women’s Title Match 

“He is a dapper yapper.” -Jim Ross

Teddy gets the mic and says we are looking at the baddest Women’s Champion of all time.. YA FEEL ME? Great stuff from Long as usual. I’m loving this run Jazz is on with Long as her manager/mouth piece. Only 20 seconds in and the crowd chants “we want puppies” .. dear lord. Jazz gets a super long control segment here and it's fine. Not bad and super well done, but also not super compelling. That's more than you can say for most women's matches of this era, though. This builds, of course, to the awesome Trish comeback. They really laid this match out super well. Barring some terrible commentary moments, this actual was really solid. Victoria runs down while Trish has Jazz in a STF which allowed Theodore Long to throw Trish into the turnbuckles and Jazz snags the pin to retain the title. 

Match rating - **

2) Christian (c) vs. Booker T - Intercontinental Title Match

"What you gonna do, huh? Go home and change your diaper?" -Jim Ross on Christian

More racist bullshit from Jerry on commentary here. Fuck him. This is worked in a similar manner to the Women's title opener. Christian works on top and grounds Book. Book gets some flurries, but they are all cut off by sneaky lil bastard Christian. Book builds a super believable comeback and gets a nearfall or two before Christian wins with a rollup to retain. 

Match rating - **

Steve Austin runs into Theodore Long backstage. He confronts him about cheating earlier in the Women's Title match. Austin makes the Rodney Mack/Nowinski-Dudleyz match a six man tag with Teddy as Mack & Nowinski's partner and Spike as the Dudleyz' partner. Kane walks by and stares at Austin. Austin says "U GOT A PROBLEM W ME?" and Kane walks off. Weird lol.

3) Rob Van Dam & Kane (c) vs. La Resistance - Raw World Tag Team Title Match

After a dog shit match at Judgement Day last month, La Resistance find themselves in something decent here, even though it's just a prolonged squash. They work over Van Dam, Kane gets the hot tag. Simple shit, fun enough. Kane brings the place to it's feet with a double chokeslam to end things and retain the titles.

Match rating - **

Backstage, Al Snow is with Goldust. Goldust says to expect the unexpected tonight and starts stuttering and shit.

4) Goldust vs. Rico

This could easily be a good match because both these fellas can work, but lordy the crowd could care less. Chanting "you sick dick" and the most interesting one.. "you screwed Bret".. poor Earl Hebner was the ref here so you know they had to give him some grief. Speaking of Earl, during Goldy's comeback after being worked over, Earl steps in the way and stops Goldust from kicking Rico in the nuts. Goldust ends up winning with a powerslam.

Match rating - *3/4

Mid-show take... this show is ASS.

And just as I say that, the only redeeming thing about this event takes place. The Highlight Reel hosted by Chris Jericho with special guest(s) Eric Bischoff and… the unexpected guest Stone Cold Steve Austin. This segment is a bonus feature on one of Austin’s DVD releases so I’ve seen it a couple of times and it’s still just as much of a blast as it was then. Austin plays the hits and does all of his schtick and it rules. Jericho plays along and shit. After a bunch of bickering and back & forth, Austin offers them both a beer only to DELIVER SOME BY GOD STUNNERS. Like I said, best thing on this show by a long shot. Oh, and Austin also added the Street Fight stipulation to the H/Nash match that’s happening later. 

Backstage, Triple H and Ric Flair are furious that H’s match with Nash is a street fight. H says it’s fine though because they are gonna finish this once and for all tonight. 

5) The Dudleyz (Bubba Ray, D-Von, & Spike Dudley) vs. Rodney Mack, Chris Nowinski, & Theodore Long 

This was originally a traditional 2 on 2 tag. Austin decided to throw Spike and Teddy in the mix and here we are. This was about what you’d expect as it was all about the UK getting their Dudleyz nostalgia and the story of Teddy Long being involved. Teddy dodges tags pretty much all match only to eventually get in and try to pin Spike. This leads to Rodney Mack accidentally clotheslining him and yeah. Three count. After the match, THE TABLES are brought out and Nowinski eats shit. Fine enough stuff, but continues the trend of this show - two stars.

Match rating - *3/4

6) Test (w/ Stacy Keibler) vs. Scott Steiner - Special Referee: Val Venis 

This god forsaken feud continues. Video package highlighting all the shit before Stacy comes out and introduces both men making sure to shit on Test and talk about how well Steiner treats her. Test tries to get Stacy to stay in a towel so no one can look at her legs. Test & Steiner do stuff. Test tries to use a chair, Stacy stops him and this allows Steiner to get the win. I guess we are supposed to be happy about this or something. Woo. Stacy jumps in Steiner’s arms after the bell. 

Match rating - *1/4

7) Triple H (c) (w/ Ric Flair) vs. Kevin Nash (w/ Shawn Michaels) - World Heavyweight Title Match

You would’ve thought this was a tag match considering all four men got entrances. I’m glad they did though and I’m glad they were there because the best parts of this were ironically Shawn and Flair. Their brawling, bumping, selling and blading ruled. H’s and Nash felt so plodding and uninspired. Then you throw the overbooking on top of it and it’s like really meh. Multiple ref bumps. H & Flair destroy all the refs or whatever. Flair got busted open early which was hilarious and him & Shawn end up in the back. Once the ref shit starts Flair is back down so Shawn runs down and yeah obviously there’s a reason I have more to say about those two than the actual match. H wins with a sledgehammer shot. This was just not good. House show street fight vibes and I’ve honestly seen many better house show matches than this one. It’s like they went for all the theatrics without the fire and believability of this actually being a match we should be invested in. Idk. Not for me.

Match rating - **

Let's forget I ever took the time to watch, review, and do a podcast on this..

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