Monday, March 28, 2022

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - June 12th, 2003

WWE Smackdown
June 12th, 2003
Orlando, Florida

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri (since 5/18/03)
WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

They show replays of last week’s big Rey Mysterio title victory to start the show.

1) Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Matt Hardy - Cruserweight Title Match 

Well, Hardy didn’t waste any time taking his rematch. Before the match, he slaps Crash & Shannon Moore backstage, blaming them for his loss last week. So, Hardy is going at it alone this time. Hardy charges Rey at the bell setting the tone for this match at a fever pitch. They pack a lot in here. Rey flies around and sells super well once again. Hardy is so aggressive that it costs him repeatedly, even in the finish. Rey wins with the West Coast Pop to retain. This Rey title win has already been solidified with this one match.

Match rating - **3/4

Piper’s Pit is up next. Piper & Sean O’Haire’s guests tonight are the Tag Team Champions Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri. They have food for them. Piper tricks Tajiri into giving O’Haire his tag team title belt. O’Haire doesn’t wanna give it back so Tajiri mists Piper and Eddie flips the table over and clocks O’Haire. Man.. this was satisfying as fuck because this Piper/O’Haire shit is terrible. 

Sable is at Steph’s desk in her office on the computer. Steph walks in and asks what she’s doing. Sable says she was just looking through Zach Gowan’s contract buuuuut she also saw that she’s bringing the US Title back. Steph says she guesses the secret is out, but the bigger deal is that she knows why Vince sent Sable to be her “assistant” and that she doesn’t want to play this game because no one can be as caniving as her. 

2) A-Train vs. Billy Gunn

Torrie Wilson is doing the ring introductions for this. This is Billy Gunn’s first Smackdown appearance in fucking forever. And this match is like… virtually a squash. I’m kinda surprised ! Famousser gets him the victory in like two minutes. 

Match rating - *3/4

After the match, Billy leaves with Torrie. 

Earlier tonight, Brock Lesnar arrived to the arena through a sea of fans in the parking lot. 

3) The Undertaker vs. Johnny Stamboli 

This has to be the worst of the FBI fellas that Taker could be paired with. This feud is just.. bad. They do stuff. Same stuff they’ve done for 3 weeks now. Taker wins.

Match rating - *1/2

Mr. America is getting Zach Gowan ready in the back. The arm wrestling contest is next! 

Mr. McMahon comes out for the arm wrestling contest in his signature outfit to show off his muscles. Sable is here, Steph is here, and of course, Zach Gowan & Mr. America are here. America challenges Vince to an arm wrestling contest of their own before the one between Gowan & McMahon. Sable flashes Mr. America during this and it allows Vince to win. Vince yells for everyone to leave except him & Gowan. They.. lock up? And Gowan gets an advantage on Vince so our beloved chairman kicks his prosthetic leg and is able to win the contest. Gowan leaves looking embarrassed and defeated. Poor man ain’t getting a contract.

4) Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs. The Basham Brothers (w/ Shanequa) 

Benoit ate a quick loss to Cena last week and now he eats one to The Basham’s here. Wild. It’s all to put over this Rhyno story clearly which is an interesting route to take, but yeah. Shanequa makes her first Smackdown appearance, she is ripped as fuck and has a whip. I have no idea what she & The Bashams have in common, but I guess we will find out. This match is decent enough while it lasts. Rhyno accidentally hits Benoit and it costs them the match. 

Match rating - **

Backstage, Benoit and Rhyno are yelling at one another. Benoit is pissed because this happened two weeks in a row. Rhyno says it was an accident. Benoit says he’s supposed to be able to trust him. This was intense as hell. 

5) John Cena vs. Funaki 

“I thought me & John Cena were boys.” -Michael Cole 

Cena rags on Cole in his rap before the match then he squashes Funaki. Cole says ‘you can’t spell Funaki without FU’…. 

Kurt Angle is here. He comes out and says even more than his return last week, he’s looking forward to the title match tonight between Lesnar & Show. Angle then shifts focus to Team Angle, Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas. He calls them to the ring. Angle says he understand why they didn’t call him when he was in the hospital, but wants to know where they were last week. They said they were sick.. sick of being in his shadow. Benjamin & Haas go off about busting their ass to keep his name alive while he was gone, but when they needed help in their tag title ladder match, he was nowhere to be found. Benjamin & Haas say they actually don’t want to leave Team Angle, they want to be the leaders. Angle, instead, kicks them out LMAO. Haas & Benjamin throw a fit and Angle orders them out of the ring. 

Back from commercial, Haas & Benjamin confront Kurt backstage and attack him from behind. 

6) Brock Lesnar (c) vs. The Big Show - WWE Championship Match 

These guys somehow always find a way to have a great match. This one may be the slightly weaker of their series, but it features one of the most jaw dropping moments in Smackdown history so can you really even say that? They beat each other up for a few minutes. Brock sells the back super well as he’s unable to lift Show up for an F5. Show goes for a chokeslam off the top rope, Lesnar counters and goes for a SUPERPLEX ON BIG SHOW THAT EXPLODES THE GOD SAMN RING. The crowd goes fucking bonkers, the visual is amazing, and everyone will remember this forever. True nutty shit. Match ends in a no contest and after some replays, the show closes with officials checking on Lesnar & Show who lay motionless in the broken ring.

Match rating - ***

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