Sunday, March 20, 2022

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Monday Night Raw Review - June 2nd, 2003

June 2nd, 2003
San Diego, California

World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H (since 12/15/02)
Intercontinental Champion: Christian (since 5/18/03)
World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane (3/31/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz (since 4/27/03)

Commentators - Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler

Show opens with a truck pulling into the arena and it’s THE ROCK. He’s a guest on the highlight reel tonight. 

1) Trish Stratus, Ivory, & Jacqueline vs. Jazz, Victoria, & Molly Holly (w/ Theodore Long) 

Lawler says “puppies, puppies, & more puppies” as the women are making their entrances.. god I hate that motherfucker. Victoria and Trish start things off and Victoria hits the spider’s web for an early two count. The action really never slows down here and mostly everyone gets their stuff in. Ivory gets the big victory as she pins the women’s champion, Jazz. 

Match rating - **

Back out in the parking lot, GOLDBERG is here. 

An advertisement for JR’s cookbook airs.. lord jesus. It’s IN STORES TOMORROW~~~ and back from commercial, Lawler has a poll set up on where you can vote on if you think JR’s book will be a best seller or a flop.

Meanwhile, Test and Stacy are screaming at one another. God damn I didn’t know shit was this intense. Stacy tries to break up with Test, but he says she’s contractually obligated to him. She slams the door in his face. 

The Hurricane is on his way to the ring and RANDY ORTON attacks him from behind. Orton tosses him backstage, and Triple H & Ric Flair walk out and begin to strut toward the ring. Flair begins to go off and explain why he turned on Shawn Michaels last week. Flair says he never passed the torch to him and that Shawn is just a Ric Flair wannabe and he’s seen a hundred of those. Flair says the only person he passed the torch to is Triple H. Flair & Orton get on their knees and bow to H, lmao. Flair says Shawn is gonna be his bitch ALL NIGHT LONG. This brings out Shawn Michaels who, among other things, says he wasn’t given the torch from Flair, he TOOK it because Flair couldn’t hack it in WWE anymore. Shawn says Flair started something in him that hasn’t been there since he returned. Michaels says he’s gonna show everyone that space mountain is just a broken ride and at Bad Blood, he’s gonna do with Flair what he’s done with every nickel and dime guy in the locker room - he’s gonna make him famous. Shawn says he’s gonna shove Flair’s torch up his assss. Yeah yeah. H has a funny ass line next, saying, “why don’t you reach around in that back pocket and try to find that torch and try to stick it up Flair’s ass with me standing here” so HBK starts walking to the ring and KEVIN NASH comes out to back him up. LEGGO LEGGO. They charge the ring and HURRICANE shows up to help, too. Evolution retreats. 

2) Scott Steiner (w/ Stacy Keibler) vs. Steven Richards 

Test stands at the top of the ramp and watches as Stacy is at ringside with Steiner. This is a squash. Stacy makes sure to pose with her ass out while going through the ropes twice for Steiner to taunt Test. JR & King talk about the 41.5 inches and yeah. After the match, Eric Bischoff comes out and announces Steiner vs. Test for Stacy’s managerial services at Bad Blood. 

Back from commercial, JR & King announce the passing of Freddie Blassie. :/// 

Backstage, Eric Bischoff is staring at a photo of himself on the wall. Steve Austin is there when the camera pans out. Bischoff says he thinks they work great together and stuff. Bischoff asks if he saw the match he just announced. Austin says he did, but he wants to make a match tonight. Nash/HBK/Hurricane v H/Flair/Orton. LETS GO. Austin asks Bischoff if he’s thought anymore about the competition they could have at Bad Blood. Bischoff says no and that he really doesn’t wanna do it. Austin convinces him and Bischoff suggests a series of events… a triathlon. So it shall be a REDNECK TRIATHLON. Man.. we all know what this is leading to. 

Goldberg is backstage with Terri. He says he’s gonna introduce Chris Jericho to a new meaning to the word Highlight Reel. Meanwhile, Jericho is out in the parking lot pouring paint on Goldberg’s car. Goldberg runs out to get him and check on his car then he backs up and peels out of the parking lot.. ok. 

Back from commercial, the ring is set up for The Highlight Reel, but obviously Jericho isn’t here. Christian’s music hits and he comes out with his Intercontinental Title. Christian brings out the guest for the night, The Rock. Christian tells The Rock he’s the new people’s champion. The Rock dares him to ask the people who the real peoples champion is, Christian doesn’t want to so The Rock goes out into the crowd. People actually lose their minds and Rock can barely even move through the stands. Chris Jericho comes out when it looks like The Rock is gonna close out with all his catchphrases. Jericho calls The Rock back to the ring and asks him how it feels to get speared by Goldberg since he’s never felt it, but he knows Rock has. Rock says it hurts, but putting his foot up Jericho’s ass will hurt even more, BITCH. Christian attacks Rock from behind and he & Jericho double team him. BOOKER T hits the ring for the save and Rock gives him the honors of doing the people’s elbow! AYYYYE! That was sick. Rock’s music hits and he goes to leave, but Booker calls him back in and we get a ROCKAROONI. Fun shit to close probably the longest highlight reel segment ever. 

Backstage after a commercial break, Jericho & Christian are trying to scramble away from the arena. Stone Cold stops them and says they aren’t going anywhere. 

3) Kane vs. Rene Dupree

I got confused thinking this was a tag at first. Silly me. Dupree wins with a cheap roll up off some SHENANIGANS. The big news here is that STOOONE COLD HITS THE RING AS THEYRE LEAVING.

Stone Cold gets in the ring and tells Rob Van Dam he’s dismissed. Austin goes after Kane and asks him what he’s been doing. Austin wants to see the Kane of old and not what he’s become. Austin basically tries to provoke Kane to chokeslam him, even putting Kane’s hand on his throat to tempt him. Kane doesn’t do anything so Austin stuns him. This is a classic segment, to be honest. I’ve seen this one a number of times. Good shit. 

Triple H is seen backstage walking out of the referees’ locker room… 

Christian & Jericho are walking backstage nervous as hell cause Austin is making them wrestle and they’re afraid Goldberg is gonna show back up for them. 

4) Booker T & Goldust vs. Chris Jericho & Christian 

BOOK AND GOLDUST BACK TOGETHER <3 so yeah this was bound to be a blast. Especially with Jericho & Christian being such perfect chicken shit heels trying to get in and out of here before Goldberg shows up. They can’t get it done though. Book pins Jericho after the scissors kick after a fun little match.

Match rating - **1/2

After the match, Jericho nails Booker with the IC Title and GOLDBERG shows up. He goes to spear Jericho, but CLOBBERS the ref instead by accident. Jericho and Christian escape yet again. Goldberg calls for medics to help the ref he just unintentionally destroyed.

Backstage, all three active Raw referees are refusing to referee the Hell in a Cell Match at Bad Blood. Bischoff freaks out and Austin says he knows someone who will do the job.. 

5) Triple H, Ric Flair, & Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash, & The Hurricane 

Pretty stoked on this. It’s the first Evolution trios match and hell yeah. Well.. it doesn’t quite rock. It actually kind of.. sucks. But not quite suck.. I’ll just say.. it happens. Flair bleeds for some reason. Earl messes up a count at the end and yeahhhhhh. Evolution wins and KELVIN NASH clean house to end the broadcast. 

Match rating - *3/4

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