April 14th, 2003
World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H (since 12/15/02)
World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane (since 3/31/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus (since 3/30/03)
Commentators: Jerry "The King Lawler & Jim Ross
~VINTAGE OPENING VID~
Oh fuck Kevin Nash is opening the show! Let’s go!!! He gets an awesome ovation. Nash is pissed that while he was out, Triple H and Shawn Michaels turned on one another and when he returned last week, he was right in the middle of it. He says they’re all supposed to be friends and it shouldn’t be like this. Before Nash can finish, Triple H comes out and they… hug? It doesn’t last long. H says he’s happy to see him, but things are different and he’d assume to slap Shawn in the face rather than shake his hand. HBK IS HERE AND HE IS RILED UP. HE WANTS H TO SLAP HIM AND HE SAYS H IS RIGHT THEY WILL NEVER BURY THE HATCHER. Nash starts high pitching yelling and says he didn’t come back for this shit. H says Nash is in a tough spot, but he has to make a choice - it’s him or Shawn. H goes on an in depth explanation of why he should side with him and not Shawn, ending with H saying to remember that the biggest success either of them ever saw came when they walked away from Shawn.
STACY IS BACKSTAGE HELLO. She finds lotion and the playboy magazine in Test’s bag HAHAHAHA. My man got caught AGAIN. Poor sweet Stacy don’t deserve this :-/
Coach & Jerry rehash the choice Kevin Nash. It’s weird they went this route after they already announced Nash/Book/HBK vs H/Jericho/Flair for Backlash.
1) Test (w/ Stacy Keibler) vs. Chris Jericho
Stacy makes sure to show off during her entrance to piss Test off since he’s been beating off to Torrie’s magazine. Test facing Jericho is interesting considering these two were in a little feud before WrestleMania involving Jericho hitting Stacy with a steel chair. This match is fine for what it is, but it’s mainly all about Test losing because he’s distracted by Stacy lifting her skirt and showing her ass to guys at ringside to make him jealous. Jericho wins and Test pulls a fan over the barricade and slaps him around.
Back from commercial and we are still on this Test/Stacy shit ok this is like entertaining sort of, but let’s move along. They’re backstage and yeah I’m not even writing it out. Test is still over in barrel about Torrie’s playboy and tries to make it better by pointing out Torrie’s flaws and where Stacy has her beat looks wise.
2) Trish Status & Ivory vs. Victoria (w/ Steven Richards) & Jazz (w/ Teddy Long)
“Don’t let me hear you say playa again.” -Theodore Long
So it appears that Jazz has taken Teddy up on his offer of joining up with him. He hops on commentary and it’s pretty great. Him & Jerry go back and forth. Teddy insists on being called Theodore and not Teddy. This match is just fine, continuing the trend from last week of the women getting a good showing. Jazz taps Trish out in a dominant showing. Teddy runs down to raise Jazz’s hand after the bell.
Match rating - **1/4
Goldberg is on the phone in the locker room. Apparently someone is here to see him. Goldberg says to send him in and it’s.. Goldust. Goldy wants to be the first one to welcome him. Man.. this stutter thing from Goldust is in full swing now. Goldy extends Goldberg the offer of wearing one of his blonde wigs. Goldust puts it on his head and lord jesus that’s a sight. Goldberg says he appreciates the gesture, but has to return the gift and tells him never to put it on his hand again. Goldust pisses his pants and yeah.
LATER: NO DQ MATCH FOR DA TAG TITLES
BACKSTAGE, Big Kev is in deep thought.
STONE COLD’s MUSIC HITS BACK IN THE ARENA BY MOTHERFUCKIN GOD. It’s Eric Bischoff again as expected. Fuck off. He basically does a live infomercial advertising what he is calling the “Steve Austin farewell special.” Booker T interrupts and says he has a deal for Eric since he’s trying to sell one to everyone else. Book proposes himself vs Triple H in a WrestleMania rematch TONIGHT. Book ends it with a SUCKAAAA and Bischoff looks lost.
RVD and Kane are walking to the ring. Tag title match is next!!
3) Rob Van Dam & Kane (c) vs. Lance Storm & Chief Sean Morley - No DQ Match for the World Tag Team Titles
Ok so this isn’t really quite what you’d expect from the No DQ stip, but if you disregard that, this is suuuuper solid tag. Great heel work from Storm & Morley with isolating Van Dam & Kane both at various points. As a result, both man got a fun hot tag opportunity. They did a trash can and a chair shot spot, even got the steel stairs involved, but that’s really it as far No DQ shit goes. And that’s fine because we haven’t gotten a tag title match that was this decent and had this much time in a while so hell yea. The Dudleyz run down and initially help Morley & Storm only to bail out which allows Van Dam to hit the Van Termjnator and you know what that leads to. Victory for the champs!
Match rating - ***
Backstage, basically, H says there is no reason for him to face Book tonight. Hurricane shows up and begs to differ. Eric ends up making Book/Hurricane vs. H/Flair and if Book & Hurricane win, Book gets the title shot he wants.
The Rock is here via satellite. He assures us he isn’t afraid of Goldberg and will whoop his monkey ass at Backlash. Also, we get another Rock concert next week in Atlanta! He broke out his guitar here as well to tease us.
4) Christian vs. Goldust
This ain’t much. Christian gets DQ’d for using a chair. He then calls out Goldberg and gets speared for his troubles. Goldberg’s booking is the same it is here and as it is now in 2020-21 and absolutely none of it resonates with me. He’s silky smooth and has his shit down, and always has, but I have no reason to care.
Scott Steiner and Chris Nowinski’s debate is next. Steiner goes into a whole if you don’t support the troops go to hell and leave the country thing. They start brawling when Nowinski makes a 3 minute reference and sure enough, they show up. Jamal, Rosey, Rico & Nowinski beat down Steiner and pose over him.
Coach & King run down the matches announced for Backlash so far.
5) Triple H & Ric Flair vs. Booker T & The Hurricane
MAIN EVENT TIME. They show Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels, & Kevin Nash in their individual locker rooms watching H’s entrance. Book & Hurricane are shown walking as we head to commercial. This is a pretty back and forth match for the most part and is a blast. Book is just so hot that all his exchanges have this fire behind it and it rules. Shawn Michaels runs down and hits Flair with a super kick and Hurricane gets the pin so BOOK HETS HIS TITLE SHOT NEXT WEEK!!
Match rating - **1/2
After the match, Kevin Nash and Jericho both get involved and a bunch of shit happens to tease the tension heading towards the trios match at Backlash involving all these guys. Show closes with Nash glaring at Booker and Nash & HBK looking at one another in the ring.
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