Friday, April 8, 2022

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - June 19th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 
June 19th, 2003
San Antonio, Texas 

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri (since 5/18/03)
WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

The broadcast begins with replays of last week’s insane moment where Lesnar & Big Show broke the ring with a top rope superplex. They’re billing it as “unfinished business” with a reinforced ring. 

1) The Undertaker vs. Nunzio (w/ Chuck Palumbo & Johnny Stamboli) 

And after an amazing ending last week and a great follow up announced to start the show, we go into this terrible feud, again. Taker tosses Nunzio from the ring almost immediately. He follows him out and Nunzio hits an awesome drop kick off the apron following a distraction from Palumbo & Stamboli. And ok.. look. Sorry for writing this off because it’s an awesome squash. Taker chokeslams Nunzio onto the other FBI members and then picks him up for the best last ride of the year. 

Match rating - **

After the match, shit gets even better. Taker gets jumped and THE APA RETURNS TO MAKE THE SAVE. COLE SAYS IT BEST.. “LOOK AT BRADSHAW AND SIMMONS!” Bradshaw has his new short hair cut and hell yeah. This rocks. 

Backstage, Zach Gowan walks up on Spanky and Bill Demott talking and asks where Stephanie is. They point him to her office. Sable answers the door and says she’ll be here soon and invites him. Gowan says he’ll wait outside, Sable asks if he’s afraid to be alone with a GROWN WOMAN. Oh my fuckin lord. Gowan enters and Sable closes the door. 

They are doing a Lesnar/Show timeline recapping their whole feud. First clip is from Survivor Series 02 where Show & Heyman screwed Lesnar out of the title. 

2) Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno 

Before this can get going, STEPH SHOWS UP WITH THE US TITLE ON HER SHOULDER. FUCK IT. Make her the god damn champion. Man, this show is ruling so far. Apparently this was supposed to be a tag team match at first, but now it’s Benoit vs. Rhyno in the first round of the United States Title tournament. Benoit & Rhyno shake hands and it’s GAME TIME. They start working holds on the mat. Rhyno has a long control segment on Benoit. It’s not the most compelling, but it works thanks to largely to Benoit. Plus, the Benoit comeback is awesome. He taps Rhyno out with the cross face to advance in the tournament. 

Match rating - **3/4

Back in Steph’s office, Sable tries to make Gowan more comfortable while he waits on Stephanie. She asks if he looked when she flashed Mr. America last week and he says yes. She asks if he would like to.. FEEL. LMAOOOO. This is fucked. 


3) Rey Mysterio vs. Kanyon 

HEY! KANYON! This is sick seeing him get this match with Rey. It undoubtedly lives up to the excitement I had for it, too. So much innovative and unique shit packed into 4 minutes. I will definitely probably take another look back at this one down the line, just so fun. Rey hits like, a West Coast Pop while Kanyon is hanging from the second turnbuckle, it’s so sick. Mysterio wins with 619 and shit, though, when all is said and done.  

Match rating - ***

Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas come out. This is their first week not in Team Angle and they’ve already changed their gear. Haas & Benjamin don’t get many words out before Kurt Angle hits the ring. Crowd is HOT for Kurt. Haas mentioned that next week, Angle could get a piece of them if he wanted. Angle says he takes exception to that and wants it RIGHT NOW. 

4) Kurt Angle vs. Charlie Haas (w/ Shelton Benjamin)

This is highly anticipated and it’s mostly solid, but you just expect so much more considering. Maybe they didn’t wanna go too hard for Kurt’s first match back. Their was good stuff in here, but there was also some very plodding stuff that could’ve either been tossed or done better/with more intent. Despite that, still good. Benjamin gets thrown out by the ref. Haas goes for an Angle Slam on Kurt which rules and Angle counters. Angle gets the win and this is far from over..

Match rating - **3/4

After the match, Shelton Benjamin runs down for an attack on Angle, but BRRROOOCK LESNAR makes the save.

Backstage, it looks like Sable is about to have sexual relations with Zach Gowen on Stephanie McMahon’s desk. She has Zach yelling her name LMAO and then she slaps him and asks if he really thought this was gonna happen. She tells him he’s not a man, he’s an amputee and could never satisfy her. Mr. McMahon walks in and calls him a sick freak. He & Sable laugh and hug as this was clearly planned to embarrass Zach.

5) Billy Gunn (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs. Jamie Noble (w/ Nidia)

Another fun little match. This show is just a fucking hoot, I don’t think anything could ruin it for me. Gunn wins a short little joint. Noble looks great as always and Billy is a blast. IM AN ASS MAN. 

Match rating - **

6) Eddie Guerrero vs. Sean O’Haire (w/ Roddy Piper)

Ok I will admit. I did not watch this. O’Haire won and that is fucking stupid. Goodbye. 

Vincent K McMahon is backstage telling Sable how great she did tonight. Apparently the “Steph’s office” setup was fake. They reenact the Gowen thing from earlier and Sable ends up on top of him. Steph walks in and she goes off on him. It’s uhhh.. deep. She starts crying and talks about family stuff and it’s rough. She says she’s done caring about Vince. 

Next week: Undertaker/APA vs. the Full Blooded Italians 

7) Brock Lesnar (c) vs. The Big Show - WWE Championship Match 

Time to wrap up this series. Last week, they exploded the ring and the match ended in a no contest. This week.. let’s see what happens. Show mauls Lesnar early and wears him down with stretches and holds. He gets a few near falls AND THEY HEAD TO THE TOP ROPE AGAIN. OH FUCK NO. Whole crowd stands up for this shit. Lesnar tosses Show off before anything can really happen, but lord the intensity in that moment. Lesnar flies off with a clothesline that floors Show and gets Brock the advantage. Brock goes off and hoists Show up for an F5 aaaaand here comes Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin. Ref calls for the bell.

Match rating - **1/2

The numbers take over Lesnar and KURT ANGLE ARRIVES FOR THE SAVE. ANGLE SLAM TO BIG SHOW HOLY SHIT. The numbers eat Kurt up too, though, and Show chokeslams him. MR AMERICA SHOWS UP AND BOOTS BIG SHOW DOWN. Wow, the first decent thing this character has done. Amazing. Haas & Benjamin pop up and it allows Show to recover and chokeslam America to close the show. They’re putting Show over hard for whatever reason. He stands over Mr. America as the broadcast ends. 

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