August 18th, 2003
Grand Rapids, Michigan
World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H (since 12/15/02)
Intercontinental Champion: Christian (since 8/10/03)
World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance (since 6/15/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly (since 7/28/03)
Commentators - Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler
Chris Jericho opens the show with The Highlight Reel. He talks about how he’s gonna shave Kevin Nash bald tonight then go on to win the Elimination Chamber match at SummerSlam. His guest tonight is Shawn Michaels. Once Michaels comes out, Jericho passes off hosting duties to.. Evolution. After some talking, this turns into a 3 on 1 assault on HBK by H, Flair & Orton. Kevin Nash comes out for the save and he’s followed by Goldberg who cleans house on everyone.
Backstage, Stacy is getting ready. Test walks up and this saga IS STILL GOING ON. Test says when he wins the match tonight, he will treat Stacy “like the little slut that she is.”
1) Molly Holly (c) vs. Trish Stratus - Women’s Championship Match
Trish and Molly are not bad, normally, but this match isn’t very good. A misstep or two early and here comes Gail Kim. Trish gives her chick kick off the apron, but Kim still rolls in and the ref calls for a DQ. Kim & Molly brawl and have to be pulled apart by officials.
Backstage, Evolution is rejoicing over their 3 on 1 attack on Shawn earlier. Stone Cold walks up to crash the party. He says since they’re so tough and he needs a main event.. it’s gonna be Randy Orton vs. Goldberg tonight and Stone Cold is the special enforcer. Flair’s jaw drops as we head to commercial.
“GOD DAMN RIGHT.” -Jim Ross
Yeah.. Jim Ross is on one again. Shane McMahon comes out and says Eric Bischoff isn’t even gonna make it to SummerSlam because he’s gonna beat him beyond recognition TONIGHT. Shane says he also has a gift for Kane tonight… it’s a can of gasoline. Shane says “Kane isn’t the only one who likes to play with fire!” 2003 yall.
Backstage, Goldust and Lance Storm are talking. Goldy is still trying to help Lance find some personality. Goldust asks what the most spontaneous thing is that Lance has ever done. Lance says he didn’t rewind a VHS tape before returning it once. Goldust says that’s not enough and tells him to go into the divas locker room and say something dirty to the first woman he sees. GOOD GOD LMAO.
Meanwhile, Linda McMahon is sitting at a kitchen table reading magazines at her home in Connecticut, we will hear from her tonight.
2) Test vs. Scott Steiner - Winner Gets Stacy Keibler’s Services
Garbage as usual. Test fakes an injury. Officials came down to check on him and he boots Steiner for the victory and leaves with Stacy.
“This man is no more of a service man than Saddam Hussein himself.” -Jim Ross
La Resistance comes out and for a sort of funny, but also annoying angle. They say they buried the Dudley’s and ended their career last week and they will do it all over again at SummerSlam. They go to ringside and start messing with a military guy or whatever. It’s so clearly Rob Conway so I knew the turn was coming. The Dudley’s run down for the save and bring the “service man” into the ring and wave the American flag. When they turn their backs, Conway cracks them with the flag pole and La Resistance joins him in an assault on The Dudley’s.
Replays of Linda being attacked by Kane the other week.
4) Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash - Hair vs. Hair Match
This is pretty fun. It’s good back and forth and picks up down the stretch. A low blow and brass knuckles play into the finish in favor of Jericho, but that’s par for the course around this time so can’t really complain. Jericho wins and immediately begins shaving and chopping Nash’s hair off.
Match rating - **3/4
Earlier today, Rosey & The Hurricane saved a child’s cat out of a tree..
Back in the arena, Theodore Long is here.
5) Rosey (w/ The Hurricane) vs. Rodney Mack (w/ Theodore Long)
This happened. Rosey won.
Now it’s time for the interview with Linda McMahon from her home. JR voices over to her from the arena. As they’re talking about her condition from the attack on Kane, her doorbell starts ringing. It’s Eric Bischoff. He says she looks shocked, but not as shocked as Shane does all the way in Michigan at Raw looking for him. Eric tries to make an advance onto Linda and we go to commercial. Back from commercial, Eric says he’s not here to hurt her, he’s here to please her and says he’s gonna beat her son Shane to a bloody pulp on Sunday, but until then.. she should show him the bedroom since they’re here all alone. Gross shit.
6) Christian (c) vs. Rob Van Dam - Intercontinental Championship Match
This is a good match. The ref gets knocked down and Christian tries to use a chair, but Van Dam kicks it into his face. They get into the real heat of things and sure enough, here comes Kane. Kane cracks Van Dam in the skull with a chair. Kane carries Van Dam up the ramp and away to the back. And we head to commercial.. oh boy.
Match rating - **1/2
Back from commercial, Test has Stacy Keibler in his locker room with Steven Richards and they’re making her dance for them.
Meanwhile, Kane ties Rob Van Dam up and pours gasoline on him. Kane teases set him on fire, but then doesn’t because that’s what “they” want him to do.
7) Goldberg vs. Randy Orton
The trend of the night continues.. fun match and then all kinds of interference and shenanigans happen. Orton is great here, though, so that’s a definite highlight. The ref gets knocked down and Stone Cold jumps in to make the count. This brings Ric Flair down and he pulls Austin out of the ring. Austin stuns Flair and Goldberg is able to pin Orton.
Match rating - **1/4
After the match, Goldberg taunts Triple H who is on the ramp. He wants H to come to the ring. Kevin Nash slides in from behind WITH HIS NEW SLICK HAIRCUT. Nash powerbombs Goldberg and makes eye contact with H who is on the ramp. H rips his pose and SHAWN MICHAELS SUPERKICKS HIM FROM BEHIND. Michaels and Nash lock eyes now, but Chris Jericho breaks this up with a chair shot to the back of Michaels. The show closes with Jericho posing with the World Heavyweight Title and staring at Nash who is still in the ring. Oh.. and JR is yelling about how ITS ON PPV SUNDAY!!!!
Post a Comment