Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - December 5th, 2002

WWE Smackdown
December 5th, 2002 

TONIGHT: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge - #1 Contender’s Match 


1) Rey Mysterio vs. Albert

I remember this match from its coverage on the Rey Mysterio 619 dvd from back in the day. Very awesome squash that could possibly not even be called a squash? Rey is a star and hit a lot of stuff, but logically Albert just overpowered him and caught him up in the West Coast Pop and dropped him for the three count. 

Match rating - **1/2 

Albert attacks Rey Rey post match and I’m pretty sure this is where a legit injury takes place for Mysterio as his knee gets caught up in the top turnbuckle and he’s hanging from it for an extended period of time. And we all know how many injuries and surgeries Rey has had on his knees over the years. 

Bill Demott snaps on Funaki when he tries to interview him and says Tough Enough was just his job and he’s more than that.. or something. Who cares. 

Steph comes out and says she sacrificed herself for all the Smackdown fans in order to get Scott Steiner on Smackdown. She announces Brock will be here live VIA SATELLITE to explain his actions that led to her suspending him. 

2) Jamie Noble (w/ Nidia) vs. Crash 

Oh man.. here this goes. Nidia is on commentary and Noble is fired up because he keeps losing. Crash kisses Nidia and hits a STYLES CLASH ON NOBLE THE FUXK? So apparently I’m dumb and there was a time Crash Holly used a version of the Styles Clash called the “Crash Landing” as a finisher and he did so here for the win. 

Match rating - *3/4

Backstage, Dawn Marie tries to... comfort Torrie Wilson and tempt her with the thought that no one knows how to please a woman like another woman. 

3) Funaki vs. Bill Demott 

This stemmed from the backstage segment earlier. Big Bill destroys Funaki and hits a god damn moonsault. So yeah. 

Match rating - *3/4 
Los Guerreros are backstage and Eddie is RILED UP about the prospect of Chavo becoming Cruserweight champion tonight and he becoming the #1 Contender to the WWE Title tonight. 

Brock Lesnar is live via satellite from Minnesota. In the middle of him talking, Heyman & Big Show come out to interrupt. Heyman says Brock is a petulant child and “Who better to spank Brock Lesnar than the new WWE Champion Big Show?” Dear god lmao. Paul says Brock didn’t screw Brock, he & Big Show screwed Brock. They rub in the fact that they would do it again if they had the chance and that he will have to sit home and watch the #1 Contender’s Match later tonight. 

4) Billy Kidman (c) vs. Chavo Guerrero - WWE Cruserweight Championship Match

This was decent. Chavo targets the gut of Kidman and is pretty vicious and in control for most of the match. Kidman goes for a shooting star press and misses. Chavo tries to use the tag belt, but is stopped by Kidman and eats the SSP. Kidman retains. 

Match rating - **

Edge says the 4 way match tonight is gonna be an outlet for all the aggression he’s gonna take out on Albert. Just as he says that, he sees Albert in the distance and breaks out running toward him. Pull apart brawl backstage as we head to commercial.

Taz is hosting a “hip hop challenge” with John Cena and Rikishi. This is the infamous “you wanna see a thug? Turn around and take a look” rap from Cena to Taz that is in all of Cena’s documentaries and stuff. 
Things break down and Cena punches Taz for trying to make the save for Rikishi which leads to TAZ LOCKING CENA IN THE TAZMISSION !!! Ahhhhhh!! That ruled. I had no idea that happened here as I had only seen certain clips from this segment, dear lord. Taz & Rikishi stand tall and dance us into commercial. 

Kurt Angle is backstage getting ready for the four way #1 contender’s match which is NEXT. 

5) Kurt Angle vs. Edge vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit - #1 Contender’s Match for the WWE Championship 

So, Edge gets attacked during his entrance by Albert. This really has become the story of the night as Rey got beaten to hell by Albert and injured after their match. Edge made the save and got in a brawl with Albert backstage and now this. Eddie, Benoit, and Angle all come out after Edge is taken to the back only for Edge's music to hit before the bell rings and he hobbles out on the bad leg that Albert assaulted with the chair. That becomes the story of the match and it's pretty nuts. Eddie & Benoit are eliminated by the 8 or 9 minute mark which kinda sucks, but Angle & Edge really go all out in the final 10 minutes. Edge gets some color, Angle targets the leg with the ankle lock etc. It does go into extra mode with nearfalls and shit. The crowd was into it, but it became repetitive really quick. Regardless, still another awesome edition to an already amazing 2002 for these guys on Smackdown. Edge's comeback was super valiant and impossible to not get behind and the finish was high drama with Angle hitting an angle slam off the top turnbuckle and across the ring. Great shit.

Match rating - ***3/4

Kurt Angle doesn't have much time to celebrate his big match victory though as his opponent at Armageddon, the WWE Champion, Big Show attacks him immediately after the closing bell and nails him with a chokeslam. 

Meanwhile, Torrie Wilson shows up to Dawn Marie's hotel room to potentially take her up on her offer of giving into her sexually and the wedding between Dawn and Torrie's father being off if she does. This is such a weird way to go with Dawn using this as a way to blackmail Torrie, but hey! It is what is. Torrie goes to leave, but Dawn says "I guess you don't love your dad as much as I thought you did" which reeeeeels Torrie back in. Damn, Dawn is good as fuck at this manipulative role.

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