March 17th, 2003
St Louis, Missouri
World Tag Team Champions: William Regal & Lance Storm (since 1/20/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria (since 11/17/02)
Commentators - Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler
Eric Bischoff opens the show. He says he faces Stone Cold in the main event tonight under his rules.. with the entire roster at ringside. And if they don’t do their job, they will be fired. It’s a Lumberjack match.
1) Rob Van Dam & Kane vs. Chief Morley & Lance Storm
This is just fine. Van Dam gets the hot tag and it rocks. Kane chokeslams Lance Storm for the win. Give them the titles, dammit.
Match rating - **1/4
Morley cowers away from the ring and THE DUDLEY BOYS ARRIVE. They go to set up a table and attack Van Dam & Kane… what the fuck. What the actual fuck. They 3D Kane through the table and man.. what on gods green earth. Morley is confused, but happy. The Dudleys leave as JR yells about trying to figure out why they did what they did.
Back from commercial, The Dudleys & Morley are backstage. They say that Morley gave them a choice over the weekend and they’re not happy about it, but they are joining the Bischoff administration because they have to feed their families. Morley lifts their suspension and welcomes them to the.. group, I guess?
The World Heavyweight Champion Triple H hits the ring with Ric Flair. He calls out Booker T. He gets Goldust instead. Goldy says he knows H is scared deep down. He starts stuttering and H & Flair laugh at him. Goldy has enough when they start making fun of him and pops him in the mouth. H & Flair start the 2 on 1 assault and THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER BOOKER T IS HERE. Book with the save for his former partner and it rules. He cleans house on H and Flair and the crowd loves it.
Back from break, Triple H is backstage pissed. He wants Goldust.
2) Maven vs. Rico (w/ Jamal & Rosey)
This was more competitive and ok than I expected. Rico dominates most of it, but Maven makes a comeback. He gets cut off only to get Rico down for three with a backslide for the upset!
Match rating - *3/4
Stone Cold and Shawn Michaels are backstage talking about the Lumberjack match later and what’s gonna happen. HBK is a lumberjack, but so is The Rock and so is Chris Jericho. They’re basically just intertwining the what if’s with all the different people involved. Austin thinks Shawn is trying to intimidate him by mentioning that The Rock will be down there.
Teddy Long approaches The Rock backstage and lets him know that his client Rodney Mack is gonna be taking care of the Hurricane for him next.
WRESTLEMANIA 19 IS IN TWO WEEKS.
3) Rodney Mack (w/ Teddy Long) vs. The Hurricane
This happens and it’s actually pretty good. The Rock ends up coming out and destroying Hurricane with a chair as payback for last week so this ends in a no contest. Rock leaves to an array of boos.
Just announced for WrestleMania - Victoria defends the Women’s Title against Trish Stratus AND Jazz.
4) Trish Stratus & Jazz vs. Victoria & Steven Richards
They execute this pretty well. Trish gets isolated and goes for the tag to Jazz. Jazz walks out on her. Richards & Victoria finish off and Victoria gets the pin with the Widow’s peak.
Match rating - **
After the match, the assault continues and Jeff Hardy makes the save. He kisses Trish afterward, continuing the weirdest fucking direction of his character. This booking SUCKS. A babyface save then some weird ass shit. I don’t get it.
A Shawn Michaels WrestleMania video package airs. Chris Jericho is backstage to comment on it. He says he used to want to be Shawn Michaels, but now he just wants to end his WrestleMania legacy.
Stacy Keibler is backstage with Test. She says she has his partner ready and will see him at the ring. When she walks off, it’s revealed Test is looking at the Torrie Wilson issue of Playboy magazine.
5) Chris Jericho & Christian vs. Scott Steiner & Test (w/ Stacy Keibler)
Steiner wasn’t at all who I was expecting Test’s tag partner to be so that was a nice surprise. Test clears house early as he & Steiner charge the ring at the bell. This turns out to be a pretty good back & forth match. The finish comes to be when Steiner gets distracted by Stacy at ringside and Test notices. Jericho used this opportunity roll him up for the victory.
Match rating - **
As we head to commercial, Booker T & Goldust are backstage heading toward the ring.
6) Triple H (w/ Ric Flair) vs. Goldust (w/ Booker T)
As you’d probably expect, this was solid. Goldust rules almost always and H is good on top most of the time. Book takes out Flair when he tries to interfere. Randy Orton shows up at ringside and cracks Booker with a crutch and gets escorted. Goldy bumps around great for H and the crowd has so much sympathy for him so there was some nice hope for him here. The Pedigree ends it, though.
Match rating - **1/4
The Rock is backstage with Eric Bischoff. He says he wants to have a concert next week. Bischoff says that’s fine but asks if he will be at ringside in the Lumberjack match later. Rock says the lumberjack stip makes Eric look weak and tries to get him to change it to No DQ and he will come down and take care of Austin for him.
JR & King run down the WrestleMania card.
7) Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff (w/ Chief Morley) - No DQ Match
So yeah they changed the stip on this last minute per Rock’s request. Bischoff & Morley try to double team Austin, but fail. Austin hits Bischoff with a stunner and Rock comes out. ROCK HITS AUSTIN WITH A STUNNER OF HIS OWN. BISCHOFF COVERS AND AUSTIN KICKS OUT AT TWO BY GOD. Rock goes for the People’s Elbow AND AUSTIN MOVES. HE TAKES ROCK OUT. STUNNED TO MORLEY. BISCHOFF IS DOWN. 1..2..3.. before Austin can celebrate though, Rock is behind him flipping him off and ROCK BOTTOM ROCK BOTTOM. Man, this shit between these two is always hype as hell no matter what, god damn. Rock cracks open Austin’s case of Miller Lite and drinks a few on his way back up the ramp.