April 7th, 2003
World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H (since 12/15/02)
World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane (since 3/31/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus (since 3/30/03)
Replay of Goldberg debuting and attacking The Rock last week.
1) Trish Stratus (c) vs. Jazz - WWE Women’s Title Match
Whoa, this was good! They got time and worked their asses off. Barring some BAD Jerry commentary, of course. But that’s not their fault. Trish retains after a good back & forth women’s contest BY GOD. Very refreshing way to open the show.
Match rating - **1/2
The Rock is backstage looking for Goldberg and he makes fun of him and the UR NEXT shit and it’s fucking hilarioussss. I also don’t fuck with Goldberg so I may enjoy it more than most. God damn. Good shit PAL.
RVD & Kane are backstage reflecting on their title win. RVD reminds Kane he should always trust him because just like he said last week, he knew they would walk out as champions.
Backstage, Teddy Long wants Jazz to join with he & Rodney Mack cause WHEN U BACK THE MACK THE WORLD WILL KNOW THA BITCH IS BACK.
THE ROCK walks up on Trish and tries to flirt. Jeff Hardy walks UP OH HELL. Rock tells him leave cause he’s busy and Hardy says last time he saw him, he was BUSY gettin his ass whooped by Goldberg. And now Jeff has worked himself into a match with The Rock later LETS GO. Love this Jeff/Trish shit and The Rock rules per usual.
2) Rob Van Dam vs. Chief Sean Morley
RVD busts out an amazing bridging german in the opening moments of this. And man what the fuck this match rocked while it lasted. The momentum was building towards this being great and then Lance Storm interferes and Morley wins off the distraction. This is a TV match though and it’s 2003 WWE so that’s expected. I still enjoyed the hell out of it.
Match rating - **3/4
HBK and Booker are backstage getting ready for their big tag match later. They appear to be on the same page.
Chris Nowinski is out to have another match with Scott Steiner. He cuts a promo with some vintage America slander so everyone gets upset. Steiner beats his ass on the ramp and we never get a match.
Goldberg is show walking backstage. HE’S HERE.
Christian walks into the Rock’s locker room to get him to autograph his copy of the Scorpion King DVD. It turns into Rock giving Christian advice on seizing the day and owning the room. Christian says Rock is his favorite wrestler even if everyone thinks Goldberg is gonna beat his ass. Rock gets a lil heated and says he’s gonna go beat Jeff Hardy’s candy ass then call out Goldberg.
Trish and Jeff are walking toward the gorilla position and Trish kisses Jeff good luck <33
3) The Rock vs. Jeff Hardy
This match should’ve been great, but DRUGGED UP JEFF showed up on this night it seemed because just about everything he did was sloppy sloppy. Match layout was good and Rock was amazing, but Jeff ://// Rock wins with the Rock Bottom after kicking out of a People’s Elbow (yea Jeff did that shit!!! see above for a gif of it) and a Swanton.
Match rating - **
The Rock gets on the mic afterwards and tells Bill Goldberg.. JUST BRING IT BITCH. Oh shit Goldberg got his beanie on. Shit gettin real now fellas. Goldberg comes out and Rock pretends to retreat only to try and attack Goldberg when his back is turned, but fails and bails. JR says…
!!!!!! “I SMELL A CHICKEN SH*T” !!!!!!! JIM ROSS BABY.
BY FUCKING GOD. JR is on fire tonight. The Rock backstage leaves the arena.
4) Kane vs. The Dudleyz - Handicap Match
Only good thing about this is the beat down that follows after the bell. Van Dam tries to help Kane, but they get demolished by Morley, Lance, & The Dudleyz.
Match rating - *1/4
Backstage, Test tries to get Goldust to cover for him about looking at Torrie’s playboy spread. They approach Stacy and Goldy just makes it worse. Poor fella. Test yells at him and storms off after Stacy.
Glass shatters in the arena and STNE COLD IS HERE?! Nope. It sure looked like it though as a big black truck with his logo barreled into the arena as his theme music played. Even when the door opened we saw blue jeans and boots, but it’s Eric Bischoff behind the wheel dressed as Austin. JR is immediately soured on commentary and Bischoff turns attention to it in his promo. Bischoff replays JR calling him a lousy son of a bitch last week. JR rises out of his seat and says he has something to say, HE QUITS. JR knew Bischoff was about to fire him and one upped him. Bischoff is at a loss for words and says JR can’t quit cause he’s FIRED and yeah yeah. Good shit per usual from good ol JR.
5) Goldust vs. Steven Richards (w/ Victoria)
Coach comes out to join Lawler on commentary since JR quit. This is fine, Victoria accidentally Richards by frantically looking for “her belt” at ringside. This allows Goldy to scoop the win.
Match rating - *1/2
Chris Jericho and Triple H are face to face backstage. Flair is coaching them to get along tonight. Jericho says he is willing to bury their hatchet and also help H bury Booker T. Flair says they’re gonna bury both Book & Shawn and starts woo’ing. WOOO!
SYLVAN GRENIER AND RENE DUPREE video package. They’re coming soon and shit. It’s so weird but these are two of the first people I remember seeing when I first began tuning into Smackdown in 2004 so this was neat. Interesting that they’re giving Grenier something different after being the screw job ref hired by Mr. McMahon earlier this year.
6) Triple H & Chris Jericho vs. Booker T & Shawn Michaels
HBK and Book charge H & Jericho at the bell and it rules. They send them to the floor and Shawn hits a flying crossbody before sending H back into the ring for Book to isolate. Quick tags from Book & Shawn as they work over the World Heavyweight Champion. They cut to a weird commercial break and show a limo in the back that just arrived before they cut to commercial. Back from commercial and H has turned the tide and has Shawn isolated in he & Jericho’s corner. This build towards the Booker T hot tag. Things break down. Flair tries some interference. It back fires and Book ends up catching H in a jack knife pin and that’s three!!! That was fun.
Match rating - **3/4
Immediately after the bell, Jericho, Flair & H jump Booker. The Hurricane runs down, but he isn’t much help and Whatageieoreiti what the fuck. Music hits and it’s KEVIN NASH. JE WAS IN THE LIMO. NASH CLEARS OUT FLAIR AND JERICHO. Huge powerbomb to Jericho. Nash picks up a chair and Triple H enters the ring with a sledgehammer and they have a stand off. H backs down, but what a moment. I’m not a huge Kevin Nash guy, but he’s a freakin superstar and I did not expect this to happen tonight so that was hype as fuck. What a way to close the show god damn.