Sunday, February 6, 2022

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Monday Night Raw Review - May 19th, 2003

WWE Raw
May 19th, 2003
Greenville, South Carolina 

World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H (since 12/15/02)
Intercontinental Champion: Christian (since 5/18/03)
World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane (3/31/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Jazz (since 4/27/03)


Commentators: Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross

Stone Cold Steve Austin opens the show. Judgement Day was last night, but we are looking ahead toward Bad Blood presented by Stone Cold and Stone Cold says that since it’s presented by him that means… 

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED  

Austin is full of great quotes tonight. He says he’s gonna get to the bottom of the Goldberg deal because “if anyone knows anything about getting hit by an automobile, it’s Stone Cold Steve Austin” holy fuck.

Austin introduces the World Heavyweight Champion Triple H accompanied by Ric Flair. He stops H made entrance and says he doesn’t have time to watch him spit his stupid water, he’s here to talk business. He says H got his ass whipped last night and doesn’t deserve to be holding that title. Austin says H will wrestle tonight and he will let him pick his own opponent as long as they’re a former world champion. H is pissed at first then smirks and says he will face the greatest world champion of all time… Ric Flair. Flair looks confused and Austin is clearly annoyed. H & Flair leave as Austin stares on. 

1) The Dudley Boys (Bubba Ray & D-Von) vs. 3 Minute Warning (Jamal & Rosey) (w/ Rico) 

“Here come them damn Dudleys.” -Jim Ross

Jamal & Rosey isolate D-Von for a bit to wear him down. Bubba comes in and things break down. They go for a table and get a cut off. Jamal & Rosey double team Bubba, but Jamal isn’t the legal man so he can’t cover. Rico slides a table in the ring only for Jamal to fuck up and miss a splash and go through the table himself. This leads to the Dudleys winning.

Match rating - *3/4

After the match Rico is sick of the shit and says that he’s leaving 3 Minute Warning. His old music hits as he leaves !! 

Austin is backstage yelling for Bischoff to get up, but he’s hungover from last night. Austin is drinking again already. Bischoff says he can’t do this redneck diet that Austin does. 

“I don’t need no hair. I don’t need no dogs. I don’t.” -Bischoff as Austin hands him another beer and forces him to drink it

Eric then throws up again, lmao. As Austin leaves the office, Kevin Nash walks up. He’s pissed about last night. Austin says he feels him and knows he kicked H’s ass last night. Austin tells Nash he gets the winner of H/Flair later. 

Ric Flair walks up to Triple H. Flair is thankful for the opportunity H is giving him. H says Flair must misunderstand him. H wants Flair to lay down for him. Flair is clearly upset or offended. H tells him to “just lay there and I’ll do the rest..” 

They replay that god damn Goldberg limo clip. Apparently whoever did it will be facing Goldberg tonight. 2003, bud. 

THE HIGHLIGHT REEL 

Third week in a row we get a Highlight Reel. What a treat! Jericho finally has a nice in ring set up with carpet and a TV. THE JERITRON. He introduces his guest, the new Intercontinental Champion Christian. Despite the fucking terrible booking of that match last night, Christian is a god and he’s got his new short haircut and the sunglasses. Like the mid 2000’s Christian I grew up watching! So yes, nostalgia has arrived. Christian and Jericho shit on Booker and Christian brags about how he is champion. Rob Van Dam shows up. He tells Christian he sucks and tries to get him to put his title on the line. Christian and Jericho jump him and Kane runs down for the save. Stone Cold comes up on the tron and makes a tag title match.

2) Rob Van Dam & Kane (c) vs. Chris Jericho & Christian - World Tag Team Title Match

Back from commercial and this match is on. Van Dam’s offense early is a little sloppy, but the control segment that begins from Jericho & Christian is AWESOME. They isolate Van Dam and it rules. Kane gets the mild tag and things break down and they retain the titles. Jericho & Christian really were the best thing about this.

Match rating- **1/2

Backstage, Shawn Michaels approaches Ric Flair and encourages him not to just lay down for Triple H. He reminds him of who he is and says he believes in him, but Flair needs to believe in himself. Flair starts tearing up :’// 

3) Rodney Mack vs. Spike Dudley

“What y’all got me in here? A car seat?” -Theodore Long 

This starts by Teddy Long issuing a white boy open challenge. Spike Dudley answers and this is honestly a good ass little squash. Spike is great at bumping and his flashy offensive flurries. This is the first time the 5 minute time clock comes close to running out and it adds a lot of drama down the stretch. Spike fights hard to stay out of the blackout submission hold, but eventually taps with 2 seconds to spare. 

Match rating - **1/2

Backstage, Austin is still trying to get Bischoff riled up and feeling better off his hangover. Austin starts beating a trash can lid and all kinds of shit lmao. Then he decides to bring in some “female entertainment” which turns out to be Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah. Bischoff shoos them out of his office.

Ric Flair is backstage looking at himself in the mirror. He’s got his robe on and starts prancing around to try and get in the zone for his World Title Match later. Are we gonna see the Flair of old?

4) La Resistance vs. Test & Scott Steiner (w/ Stacy Keibler)

What did we do to deserve this rematch? It’s bullshit for 2 or 3 minutes. Test gets rolled up off him being distracted by Stacy checking on Steiner and this one is over. Even worse than last night.

Match rating - *

Test and Steiner argue after the match and Stacy leaves by herself without either of them. 

Backstage, Austin goes into “the interrogation room” and JR & King show the results of the WWE.com poll on who tried to run over Goldberg lol. The fans unanimous vote is The Rock.

Back from commercial, Austin is interrogating someone, the camera pans down and it’s Lance Storm. He’s yelling and shit. Storm finally admits it was him, but the accelerate was stuck and it was accident. Then he says “it wasn’t even my idea” so Stone Cold asks who’s idea it was, but doesn’t let him answer and tells him to get to the ring. Goldberg is waiting on him.

Triple H is getting taped up and ready in the back. Ric Flair walks up and lets Triple H know that he isn’t laying down tonight. Tonight, he wants to test himself and see if he can hang. Flair says he had 1,000 matches like H had last night and he never said he couldn’t wrestle. Flair says he’s coming for Triple H! WHOOO! This got me fired the fuck up.

5) Goldberg vs. Lance Storm

Very quick squash. After the match, Lance Storm reveals that it was Chris Jericho who put him up to trying to run over Goldberg. 

Coincidentally, Jericho is in the parking lot trying to leave. Jonathan Coachman catches him for an interview and Jericho admits it and says he will have Goldberg on the Highlight Reel next week to run him down face to face. 

6) Triple H (c) vs. Ric Flair - World Heavyweight Championship Match 

This is naturally great. H tries to shake Flair’s hand and give him one last chance to lay down. Flair acts like he will shake his hand and moves at the last second and starts strutting. WOOOO!! This is like 7 minutes or something but they make more than the most of their time telling the simple story of Flair trying his best for one more shot at the top of the mountain. H cheats like always, but Flair plays the same game and uses the belt on H for a close two count. A pedigree out of nowhere ends it. H retains. 

Match rating - ***

After the match, Kevin Nash comes down and Triple H retreats. Stone Cold comes out and announces H will defend the title against Kevin Nash at Bad Blood… in HELL IN A CELL. What an announcement to close the show with!

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