Sunday, February 6, 2022

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - May 8th, 2003

WWE Smackdown
May 8th, 2003
Halifax, Nova Scotia 


Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 2/6/03)
WWE Cruserweight Champion: Matt Hardy (since 2/23/03)

“These people here in Nova Scotia are a little freaky, in my opinion.” -Tazz

Vince McMahon opens the show. He says tonight he will present to Nova Scotia… HULK HOGAN… via satellite. Vince says the stunt Hogan tried to pull last week was stupid. He wants to know why Stephanie would sign him to an ironclad contract. 

“That’s about enough of that.” -Vince 

God damn I loved that line. Steph starts walking out and Vince says “that’s about enough of that, cut the music, I’m not gonna watch you prance down here..” LMAO. Vince wants to know how she got him into this mess. Steph says she was looking out for the fans of Smackdown and what they want. Steph says the only way they have out of this is if Vince can prove Mr. America is Hulk Hogan. They go ahead and bring Hogan up on the screen via satellite. Hogan denies that he’s Mr. America and that he’d like to .. meet him.. one day. Jesus. Vince says why doesn’t he come meet him here tonight or better yet, points out that Mr America won’t be here tonight bc Mr America is Hogan and Hogan is in Florida. Hogan says Mr. America just might show up tonight. Vince says he will rip the red, white, & blue off of him.

TONIGHT: Brock Lesnar & Chris Benoit vs. A-Train & Big Show

Vince is walking backstage and a producer or something tells him Mr. America is here. Vince says he’s full of shit basically and to get out of his face.

1) Eddie Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy 

A 5 minute banger between these two. Crash Holly & Shannon Moore are at ringside with Matt, but they don’t interfere or mess with the quality of this match. Hardy hits an awesome leg drop off the top for a near fall before Eddie catches Hardy and pins him with a roll up combination thing of sorts. This rocked.

Match rating - **1/2 

2) Brian “Spanky” Kendrick vs. Jamie Noble (w/ Nidia)

Another super fun short match. Kendrick continues to crush this run. He’s so fucking good and Noble is great as always. Kendrick lands on his feet off a moonsault attempt where Noble moved. Kendrick recovers and lands a sliced bread for the sort of surprise three count. 

Match rating - **1/2 

John Cena is watching on the screen backstage and he’s Spanky won. Mr. America walks up and Cena turns his hat backwards to get.. a better look I guess LOL. 

They replay the awesome Big Show assault on Rey Mysterio from Backlash again.

After the replay, they announce that Rey Mysterio returns NEXT WEEK.

Backstage, Josh Matthews is with the WWE Champion Brock Lesnar. Brock says since Big Show likes stretchers so much, he wants to make their match at Judgement Day a stretcher match. Leggo leggo. 

Vince is at the coffee table when Funaki walks up. Funaki says he’s going to watch Mr. America because he’s headed to the ring. Vince mocks him and says that’s an imposter Mr. America because Hulk Hogan is Mr. America and Hogan is in Tampa, Florida. 

Mr. America comes out and Vince follows. Because we needed more of this tonight clearly. He brings Stephanie out. They try to unmask Hogan and Vince accidentally bumps into Steph and knocks her down. This allows Hogan to take out Vince. Hogan carries Steph to the back. Vince recovers and is furious.

Back from the commercial, Vince is backstage looking for Hogan while Steph is getting doctored up. He tells her “you’re a McMahon dammit” and that she’ll be ok.

3) Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

Oh man I wish the Up & Over podcast boys were watching this shit with me. The feud of the year reignited. Luckily it ends quick and Torrie wins. Sable is at ringside and immediately gets on the mic as Torrie is walking up the ramp after the bell. Sable challenges Torrie to a.. match I think? She talks about her sable-licious her body is and that Torrie’s can’t compare so Torrie unzips her top and the crowd pops. Torrie’s music hits and she leaves. 

Kurt Angle video package on his neck injury, surgery, and recovery. 

4) Team Angle (Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin) vs. Rikishi & Tajiri 

Team Angle isolates Tajiri. Rikishi gets the hot tag and it’s mediocre. Tajiri hops in and goes off and it’s awesome. Haas & Benjamin cut off this comeback and pin Tajiri for the win. 

Match rating - **1/4

As soon as the bell rings, Los Guerreros music hits. Haas & Benjamin stare at the entrance waiting on them to come out. Meanwhile Eddie & Chavo grab their picture of Kurt Angle and his gold medals AGAIN and dip through the crowd. 

Brian Kendrick is on commentary for the next match. 

“I’ll beat his ass so sore, it’s like he did a prison tour. This is thuganomics, I excel beyond sports, he rocks a horn in his head, I rock a horn in my shorts.” -John Cena

5) John Cena vs. Rhyno 

They go back and forth for a minute or two before Cena goes for his chain. Kendrick hops off commentary to stop him. This allows Rhyno to roll up Cena for the quick three count. 

Cena goes after Spanky post match. Rhyno stops him and goes to gore Cena into the steps, Cena moves, and Rhyno EATS SHIT.

The Full Blooded Italians are backstage. They’re gearing up for somethin.. not sure what. 

Cole & Tazz run down the Judgement Day card.. only 2 weeks away!! 

Backstage again, Nunzio and Brock Lesnar get into it and basically Nunzio tricks him into going into this room and Stamboli & Palumbo barrel into view with a forklift and basically barricade Brock’s ass in the room. A-Train walks up and tells him good job. Big Show is here, too. Since Brock is trapped, Show gets Benoit one on one tonight. Show has a stretcher with three names on it. Mysterio is marked off and Benoit is next on the list. 

6) Chris Benoit vs. The Big Show (w/ A Train)

Benoit’s the perfect underdog babyface here as Rhyno got injured earlier and his tag team partner Brock Lesnar is trapped backstage. This alone probably always would’ve been a solid match, but that little tidbit of backstory prompted by Michael Cole made this just a little more enjoyable. That nice tidbit doesn’t lead to a happy ending though as Show wins despite Benoit thwarting a run in from A-Train.

Match rating - **3/4

After the match, Show does exactly what he said he would and puts Benoit on the stretch. BIG BROCK BREAKS FREE AND RUNS DOWN THOUGH. He takes out A-Train, but Show chokeslams him and that’s all she wrote. 

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