Friday, July 29, 2022

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - August 7th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 
August 7th, 2003
Kelowna, British Columbia 

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle (since 7/27/03)
WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/3/03)
WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz

1) Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Ok, so obviously this fucking rules. Obviously a lot shorter than the awesome Vengeance match, but everything is snug and great. Benoit goes for the flying headbutt and Rhyno runs down & knocks him off. Benoit is pissed and dives onto Rhyno. Tajiri runs in and goes after Eddie and the ref calls for the bell. 

Match rating - ***

A huge brawl breaks out after the match. Officials come out to break it up and Sgt Slaughter gets on the mic. He says to ring the bell and WE’VE GOT A TAG TEAM MATCH PLAYA. 

2) Eddie Guerrero & Rhyno vs. Chris Benoit & Tajiri 

Another great time here. It goes a little over five minutes and goes by so quickly. Tajiri mists Rhyno and Benoit german suplexes the hell out of him. This leads us to the finish with Benoit forcing Eddie to tap to the cross face. 

Match rating - ***

Backstage, Kurt Angle tells Josh Matthews he’s gonna sit down with Brock Lesnar one on one tonight to get their issues settled. 

3) Zach Gowen vs. Nunzio (w/ Chuck Palumbo & Johnny Stamboli) 

Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore are on commentary for this. This straight up is not bad. Nunzio is awesome working with Zach and taking his spots. Moore gets on the apron and Zach hits a flying elbow off the top to knock him off. Nunzio capitalizes on this with a flying drop kick off the top for the win. 

Match rating - **1/4 

After the match, Matt Hardy hits Gowen with the Twist of Fate and poses over him. 

Back from commercial, Taker is warming up in a stairway backstage for his match with John Cena. He walks up on Vince with Sable in his lap. Sable leaves and Taker ridicules Vince for sending A-Train after his own daughter. Taker says that if he were in Vince’s family, he would’ve ALREADY KICKED HIS ASS. Meanwhile, Funaki runs up and gets Vince because Brock Lesnar has been found laying unconscious. Vince thinks Kurt Angle did it and seems happy, but then turns his attention to pretending to care if Brock is okay as they load him onto a stretcher. Finlay mutters “is he breathing?” God almighty lmao. 

4) John Cena vs. The Undertaker 

This is a rematch from Vengeance. It goes a bit longer or feels a bit longer atleast. Taker dominates most of it and hits snake eyes and stuff. A-Train runs in and the tides turn. Cena catches Taker in the FU position and nails it for the victory. Still solid despite the overbooking at the end. 

Match rating - **3/4

5) Doug Basham (w/ Danny Basham & Shanequa) vs. Jamie Noble (w/ Nidia) 

“Noble, Nidia, Gunn, Torrie, Doug, Danny, & Shanequa… that’s a whacky silly seven way, you know what I mean? Put em in shackles like a medieval…” -Tazz

A match between the two biggest perverted units on the Smackdown roster. Tazz talks about prodding horses.. it’s just a mess. I can’t even focus. The match itself is much more fun than you’d expect it to be on paper. Noble has some sick spots and Basham holds up his end. Noble wins and gets attacked post match.

Match rating - **

Billy Gunn runs down for the save to a big pop. Looks like Billy & the Noble family are getting along now after they shared the bed last week. 

6) Charlie Haas (w/ Shelton Benjamin) vs. Rey Mysterio (w/ Billy Kidman) 

This was good fun. The dynamic between the two worked super well. Mysterio works awesome from underneath.  Unfortunately there’s no Rey comeback and Haas forced him to tap to the Haas of Pain which he locked in out of the West Coast Pop.

Match rating - **1/2

So, the main event of this show was supposed to be Brock Lesnar against Mr. McMahon in a steel cage with Kurt Angle as the special referee, but as you know from reading this, Brock was attacked and left unconscious backstage. Despite that, he comes out here and so does Vince. They lower the cage and we witness the biggest swerve in a while as Brock & Vince reveal they set up Kurt Angle and formed an alliance. Brock destroys Kurt and holds his title over him to close the show. 

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