August 4th, 2003
Vancouver, British Columbia
World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H (since 12/15/02)
Intercontinental Champion: Booker T (since 7/7/03)
World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance (since 6/15/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly (since 7/28/03)
Commentators - Jerry Lawler & Jonathan Coachman
TONIGHT: Goldberg vs. Ric Flair
Eric Bischoff kicks off the show. Shane McMahon almost immediately interrupts him. Shane returned last week and got physical with Kane for attacking his mother. Shane and Eric get into it. Eric tells Shane to leave and Shane refuses. They go nose to nose and Eric tells Shane he better leave because he’s a black belt and will kick his ass. Stone Cold comes out. Austin basically antagonizes both of them. Austin suggests a No Holds Barred Match between them for later. Eric reminds Austin of Linda’s rules about his decision making. Austin finds his way around them and asks Shane how he feels about it and Shane says “… ring the bell.” Bischoff starts screaming and shit then calms down like he came to a realization and says “.. you know what? You’re on.” The match is official and ITS BECAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO.
1) Bubba Ray Dudley (w/ D-Von Dudley) vs. Renee Dupree (w/ Sylvan Grenier)
This was pretty much nothing. They trade stuff. Lots of interference attempts so D-Von says fuck it and cracks Dupree with he & Grenier’s flag pole behind the ref’s back. It splits Dupree open and gets Bubba the win. Extra half star for the blood, LOL.
Match rating - *1/2
Backstage, Triple H, Randy Orton, & Ric Flair are hanging out and drinking. Eric Bischoff walks up and has a proposition. They cut to commercial before we can hear anything else.
Back from commercial, Lawler & Coach send us to a highlight video of the Raw brand’s trip to Melbourne, Australia recently.
2) Scott Steiner (w/ Stacy Keibler) vs. Randy Orton
Stacy gets a HUUUGE pop here. Orton gets on the mic and says he feels the tension in the arena. Orton says it’s because more people came to see his nipples than Stacy Keibler’s… “am I right, ladies?” HOLY HELL. Steiner clobbers Orton and the bell rings. This is good on Orton’s end.. like very impressive. But he’s working with Steiner who lacks.. a lot. Test runs in and while Steiner is trying to take care of him, Orton hits the RKO for the win.
Match rating - **1/4
In the back, it seems Bischoff has come to a deal with Evolution.. whatever that means. I guess we will find out later.
Back from commercial, Rosey is in a visor looking like he’s about to play golf. Rosey says he’s ready to be a superhero. Christian walks up and mocks the entire idea. He also asks Hurricane asks what he’s got that makes him think he could beat him tonight. Hurricane says he’s got his superpowers BIIIATCH. Christian walks off and Rosey pulls out a box that reads “S.H.I.T.” —- it’s his superhero in training box. Hurricane still says he’s not quite ready for that yet and walks off. Rosey says “we’ll see about that.”
Also backstage, Eric Bischoff is talking to Rodney Mack. Stone Cold walks up. Bischoff struck a deal with Evolution to help him tonight and as a trade, agreed to make Triple H’s title defense against Goldberg at SummerSlam a No Disqualification Match. Austin isn’t happy about this.
3) Christian vs. The Hurricane
This was a blast. They run through fast paced offense and Hurricane hits an awesome dive. Christian is reeling due to Hurricane’s speed and resorts to a roll up using the tights for the win. I was dying for this to go longer because it was only a few minutes and was so much fun.
Match rating - **
Christian attacks Hurricane after the bell and ROSEY COMES OUT IN HIS SUPERHERO GEAR FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. Rosey makes the save and drops Christian. Hurricane recovers and gives him a nod and does his pose. Rosey stands in front of him and poses. Hurricane taps him on his shoulder and redirects him and they hit their soon to be signature pose together for the first time.
Back from commercial, we see a police van pull up with Kane in the back of it. The van is being guarded by security so Kane can’t escape.
4) Ric Flair (w/ Triple H) vs. Goldberg
Triple H joins commentary for this one. As is documented on previous reviews.. I don’t give a fuck about Goldberg. Probably because he’s not very good :) anyways. Goldberg pretty much just tosses Flair around for a few minutes. Goldberg sets him up for the spear and Randy Orton runs down with a chair. Orton nails Goldberg with it and the referee calls for the bell. The mugging ensues from Evolution as H grabs a sledgehammer from underneath the ring. H takes a shot to Goldberg’s midsection with the hammer and talks some shit while Orton & Flair hold him up BUT HERE COMES SHAWN MICHAELS. Michaels cleans house, BUT HERE COMES JERICHO AND COACHMAN MAKES THE JR CALL .. ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE AND NOW HERE COMES KEVIN NAH WITH A CHAIR … and MOTHERFUCKIN STONE COLD IS OUT NEXT. God damn that got wild quickly.
Austin grabs a mic from the commentary table. Austin says he can’t change the No DQ stip that Bischoff put in place for H/Goldberg at SummerSlam, but he can add to it… and he’s adding Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, & Randy Orton and IT WILL BE AN ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH!!! “Now.. beat the hell out of each other.” What a segment. Holy hell. I had no idea this is how that Chamber match came to be and forgot that was even a thing coming up so hell yeah.
Back from commercial, Terri is interviewing some guy about a show coming up called Slamball. Kevin Nash and Shawn Michaels are still in the ring. Chris Jericho runs back down to attack them and gets the shit beat out of him. Alrighty then.
Backstage, doctors are checking on Ric Flair. Eric Bischoff runs in to apologize to Triple H and ask if they still have a deal for later. H says only if Bischoff can change what Austin said, Bischoff says he can’t and that it’s out of his hands. H says then there is no deal. Uh oh. Bischoff is in distress now.
5) Molly Holly (c) vs. Trish Stratus - WWE Women's Championship Match
This was going fine until Victoria ran down and dropped Trish on the outside. The ref calls for the bell and Victoria & Molly get into a shoving match before teaming up to assault Trish. Gail Kim runs down for the save and Victoria & Molly flee. There’s way too many of these non finishes and shit tonight. Gail helps Trish up then TURNS ON HER BY NAILING HER WITH A LARIAT. Goodness gracious. I didn’t see that coming.
STILL TO COME: Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff - No Disqualification Match
Back from commercial, Shane McMahon tries to break into the van they are holding Kane in. Security pulls him away.
Meanwhile, Lance Storm asks Goldust if he can help him be less boring. Goldust gets riled up and smacks him on the ass.
Back at the police van, Bischoff tricks the officers into leaving Kane unattended. I think you know where this is going..
6) Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam
Finally!!! A good match!!! It’s not unbelievable or anything, but they get 11 minutes and work really hard. Some nice nearfalls and a sense of struggle down the stretch. Jericho takes a suplex off the apron to the floor which was nuts. Van Dam gets the win when all is said and done.
Match rating - ***
After the match, Jericho blames his loss on Kevin Nash due to him attacking him earlier in the night and challenges him to a Hair vs. Hair match at SummerSlam.
Backstage, Eric Bischoff is walking to the ring smiling and they pan to the van that Kane was in. The doors are open and there’s no Kane to be found. Oh no.
7) Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon
This was a bunch of bullshit as you’d expect. Kane comes down pretty soon after the bell and tombstones Shane on the steel steps. Kane rolls Shane in the ring and Bischoff covers him for the three count. Eric runs around the ringside area and up to the commentators to celebrate to end the show.