September 4th, 2003
New Orleans, Louisana
WWE Champion: Kurt Angle (since 7/27/03)
WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/3/03)
WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)
TONIGHT: Kurt Angle defends the WWE Championship against The Undertaker plus The Bourbon Street Bikini Contest
1) World’s Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas) (c) vs. The APA (Bradshaw & Farooq) - WWE Tag Team Title Match
Haas & Benjamin charge the ring and this gets underway as soon as the bell rings. WGTT get Farooq and isolate him from Bradshaw for a minute or two. Bradshaw gets a hot tag and cleans house. Things sort of break down from here and go back & forth for a bit before Benjamin uses the tights on a roll up to pin Bradshaw following a belt shot from Haas behind the ref’s back.
Match rating - **1/2
Backstage, Eddie Guerrero is polishing up his US Title on the hood of his car. A limo pulls up and it’s Big Show, Sable, & Mr. McMahon. Brock Lesnar walks up and asks what the hell is going on because he hasn’t heard from Vince since SummerSlam. Vince says it’s because Brock tapped out. This pisses Brock off and Vince tells him to chill and come to his office so they can talk about it.
Back from commercial, Brock and Vince are arguing again. Vince says he’s disappointed in him because he knows exactly who the hell Brock is. He slaps Brock and it fires him up and he grabs Vince by the shirt. They have this fucking weirdo moment where they’re breathing heavy and Vince keeps repeating “you’re a monster, be a monster.” Perverts.
TALE OF THE TAPE for The Undertaker and Kurt Angle for their match later.
John Cena comes out. He’s here to brag about his assault on Eddie Guerrero last week. They show clips and all. Eddie comes out and goes after Cena. Cena gets the upperhand by nailing Eddie with his own United States Championship. Cena runs to the parking lot and steals Eddie’s lowrider while he’s down.
Back from commercial, Eddie storms into Steph’s office because Cena stole his ride. Steph says she can’t do anything tonight, but next week, Eddie can get Cena in any type of match that he wants! Eddie names it.. A LATINO STREET FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT. We now know this as the infamous parking lot brawl. It happens next week!
2) Chris Benoit vs. A-Train
Last week, Benoit pinned A-Train, but his foot was underneath the rope so there’s a lot of fire. Train is pissed because he know Benoit can’t beat him. These guys lay it the fuck in like always. It ends in controversy again, though, as Rhyno runs down and tries to spear Benoit, but ends up hitting A-Train instead. Benoit capitalizes and gets the pin.
Match rating - **1/2
Video package hyping Taker/Angle. Taker says he knows how to beat Angle and asks if he’s ready to go as far as he is to win. Taker says he is going to show Angle what a submission really is.
Earlier today, Nidia and Torrie Wilson are trying on bikinis for the contest that is happening later, I guess? Torrie gets Nidia to put sunscreen on her back and yeah. You know what type of segment this was.
LATER TONIGHT: Rey Mysterio defends the cruserweight title against Tajiri!
Meanwhile, The Big Show is guarding Stephanie McMahon’s office door. She walks up and so does Vince. He says he’s using the office right now to take care of some business. She wants in, but he talks her down and says to give him a few minutes. As she walks away, he reveals that it’s Brock Lesnar who is in there taking care of “some business”.
3) Kurt Angle (c) vs. The Undertaker - WWE Championship Match
The commentators and cameramen immediately focus on Taker’s injured wrist. The dynamics of these two’s offensive styles are displayed super well in the first half. They feel each other out, but Taker soon takes control. I like that because Angle can get carried away very easily. This keeps things focused and makes the big moves they start trading after a commercial break mean something. Taker wears Angle down with holds and submissions, but Angle fights back. They trade Angle Slams and chokeslams for nearfalls. Taker hooks Angle in a triangle choke and they do an AWESOME spot where the ref goes to drop Angle’s hand for the third time and it hits the mat, but Angle’s foot makes it to the rope at the same time. They straight up almost had me biting on that being the finish. Back into finishers and shit now, Angle goes for the chokeslam, but Kurt slips out and locks the ankle lock in. Angle is bleeding from the cheek now from something and it’s a great visual. Taker rolls Angle off and THROTTLES HIM FOR ANOTHER CHOKESLAM. Angle has kicked out of this once so Taker puts him for the Last Ride and nails it BUT KOTHERFUCKING BROCK LESNAR WITH A CHAIR. God dammit, Brock. This was good. Awesome performance from Taker.
Match rating - ***1/2
Lesnar beats the shit out of Taker’s ankle with the chair, but also hits Angle with the chair. Brock don’t give a fuck, ya heard me? Brock kills em both and we go to commercial. He cracks Kurt with the belt to end the segment.
During the break, Taker hobbles backstage and collapses in pain due to his ankle.
Back from commercial, they show highlights from the Bourbon Street Bikini Contest from earlier. I guess this was filmed before the show.
Backstage, Bradshaw has a surprise for Farooq. It’s beer, cigars, and a poker table.
NEXT WEEK: John Cena vs. Eddie Guerrero in a Parking Lot Brawl
4) Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Tajiri - Cruserweight Title Match
These two got a little more time than they normally do and it was awesome to see. Everything they did here was pretty much flawless. Just a perfect exhibition of the style both guys were displaying at the time. Great lucha from Rey, awesome kicks & counters from Tajiri early on. Mysterio locks Tajiri in the tarantula late in the match and a bit later hits the west coast pop to retain the title. Total opposite of the WWE Title match earlier so yeah, this rocked.
Match rating - ***1/4
Vince McMahon & The Big Show come to the ring for the final segment of the show. McMahon announces an Iron Man match between Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle for next week for the WWE Championship. Vince then proceeds to introduce the man who he says will win next week.. Brock Lesnar. Lesnar doesn’t come out and cameras pan up to the skybox. Lesnar is up there and he has Zach Gowen with him. Zach is in a wheelchair after all the shit he’s already been put through by Brock. Brock says Zach is in a special wheel chair tonight. It’s a lot faster than most other wheel chairs. Brock says Vince brought a monster out in him when he slapped him and tonight he’s gonna make Zach Gowen regret ever signing a WWE contract once and for all.
Cameras pan to another area backstage and Brock has Zach lined up above a staircase. Zach tries to struggle and Brock man handles him. Brock throws him out of the chair and gives him a chance to get up and run. Insane shit from Brock. “What’s the matter? Your leg hurt?” Lmao. After some more taunting, Brock tosses Zach back in the wheel chair and throws him down the steps. Vince looks shocked as we go off the air. Brock laughs while staring at Zach at the bottom of the stairs.