Thursday, September 21, 2023

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - September 11th, 2003

WWE Smackdown 
September 11th, 2003 
Birmingham, Alabama 


WWE Champion: Kurt Angle (since 7/27/03)
WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 7/3/03)
WWE Cruserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (since 6/5/03)

TONIGHT: John Cena vs. Eddie Guerrero in a Parking Lot Brawl plus Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

In the parking lot, they’re setting up the garage for the Parking Lot Brawl later on. 

1) Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri & Nunzio 

Golden era Rey continues. This is just a load of fun. It’s all about Tajiri looking strong as he gets the pin on Rey in this super short sprint. After the bell, he smashes Rey with the belt for good measure. 

Match rating - **1/4

In Vince’s office, he’s sitting with Sable. Big Show is behind them tearing up a magazine. Vince is on the phone about to send the family of Zach Gowen some flowers. Steph walks in and asks if he’s proud of himself for what he did last week. Vince says he’s not responsible for what Brock did to Gowen and Steph refuses to believe him. Steph says Brock deserves to be in JAIL. And up walks Brock behind her. Brock wants a warmup match for his Iron Man with Kurt next week. He suggests a handicap match against Kurt Angle, The Undertaker, & Zach Gowen. None of them are here tonight. Brock says he still needs a fight, but everyone in the room he’s wrestled already… except Stephanie. Vince says that’s a money match, but he gives Steph an option.. face Brock or step down as general manager. What the FUCK lmao. 

Torrie Wilson & Nidia walk up to Dawn Marie backstage about her match with Shaniqua coming up. Nidia says “it’s suicide, baby”.. but Dawn says she has to stop her tonight. 

2) Shaniqua vs. Dawn Marie 

This doesn’t go long before Torrie Wilson and Nidia run down to save Dawn from getting completely destroyed by Shaniqua. Cole sells the hell out of it on commentary. 

Back from commercial, Sable walks up on Stephanie McMahon contemplating her decision for later. Give up her job or face Brock Lesnar. Sable says she supports Steph’s decision either way but if she does quit she’s sure Vince will find SOOOMEONE very suitable to take her spot. 

Next week: 60 Minute Iron Man Match between Brock Lesnar & Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship 

3) Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno 

This was a fucking scrap man. So much better than the majority of stuff recently. Benoit gets a bloody mouth. Albert runs down and slams Benoit into the post behind the ref’s back, but it only gets Rhyno a two count. So Benoit is fighting from underneath for most of this and the struggle rules. Back and forth stiff shit, some sharpshooter spots. Benoit overcomes and wins when all is said and done. 

Match rating - ***1/4

Backstage, the APA is playing poker with Matt Hardy a bunch of others. They toast to the people who stood up for America two years ago today. Meanwhile.. John Cena is in the parking garage talking to the ref about the rules of the parking lot brawl. Amazing classic little segment. That match is next. 

“He’s gonna butcher me? He can’t even beat his own meat right.” -John Cena

4) Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. John Cena - Parking Lot Brawl for the United States Championship 

This is a classic. Cars circle the two men and there’s some talent standing around cheering and chanting as well. They do a lot of awesome spots. This is nostalgic and reminds me of playing this stipulation in the Smackdown vs. Raw video game back in the day. Great match. Eddie wins to retain the title with some help from Chavo and a frog splash off the top of one car onto Cena on the hood of another car. 

Match rating - ***3/4

5) The APA (Bradshaw & Ron Simmons) vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore 

This is just a squash for APA. It’s kind of funny considering they’ve been around in like every backstage segment and the parking lot brawl tonight. 

Match rating - *1/2

They hype the Iron Man Match for next week again. Taz says “BROCK LESNAR IS WIDE OPEN” and a hype video for him airs. 

Back from commercial, Mr. McMahon is in the ring and he introduces the next WWE Champion, Brock Lesnar. 

6) Brock Lesnar vs. Stephanie McMahon

There’s never really a ref and a bell never rings. Vince acts like he didn’t expect Steph to actually come out and thought she would just quit, but the shock turns to him being pissed. He sends Brock after her following a slap from his daughter landing on his face. Steph gets a lowblow and almost escapes, but Brock catches her and tosses her into the barricade. She runs to the back, but Brock brings her back and looks for an F5 on the post like he’s done in the past to Rey Mysterio, BUT KURT ANGLE IS HERE. Angle unloads on Brock and saves Steph. Mr. McMahon tries to interfere, but Angle posts them both and they run up the entrance way. Angle tosses the steps at them as they run off. Angle looks strong heading into his title defense against Brock in the Iron Man Match next week to close the show. 

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