Thursday, September 21, 2023

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Monday Night Raw Review - September 8th, 2003

WWE Monday Night Raw
September 8th, 2003
Huntsville, Alabama 

World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H (since 12/15/02)
Intercontinental Champion: Christian (since 8/10/03)
World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance (since 6/15/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly (since 7/28/03)

Commentators - Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler

1) Rob Van Dam vs. Kane - Steel Cage Match

This was a good cage match. Van Dam charges Kane at the bell and mounts an early flurry. Eventually, Kane overpowers him and this becomes just a straight up assault on RVD. Van Dam gets some color and bleeds a bit. This was just an awesome.. almost squash, but moreso just a complete annihilation of Van Dam. Kane chokeslams him off the middle of the top rope off the cage for the win. Cool spot.

Match rating - ***

2) Rico (w/ Jackie Gayda) vs. Lance Storm (w/ Goldust)

Rico cuts a promo on Storm beforehand and says he’s always gonna be nothing but BOOORING. Storm fires off at him and this match is pretty much about him trying to prove he’s not boring. Storm kisses Jackie on the apron and pins Rico soon after. 

Match rating - *

3) Trish Stratus & Jacqueline vs. Molly Holly & Gail Kim 

You think Jackie has to have a permit to carry those 38’s?” -Jerry Lawler 

This happens and I can’t lie to ya.. I don’t remember shit about it. 

Stone Cold Steve Austin is out next. It’s a State of Raw address apparently. There’s a podium in the ring and Austin tosses it out before he starts talking. Austin says that before he gets to the State of Raw, he wants to add a stipulation to the Title vs. Career Match at Unforgiven. Austin says if Triple H gets disqualified or counted out, he loses the title. The crowd cheers and he moves onto the State of Raw and how messed up it is that he can’t whoop a man’s when he sees fit. Christian comes out with his Intercontinetal Title. He wants a talk show of his own since he beat Chris Jericho last week. This brings out Chris Jericho who beats down Christian and then yells at Austin for even considering cancelling the Highlight Reel. Austin said that was never even what he was thinking about and convinces Jericho to calm down and have a beer with him. You know what this leads to.. Austin stuns Jericho and drinks beer while his music plays to end the segment. 

4) The Hurricane, Rosey, Bubba Ray, D-Von Dudley, & Spike Dudley vs. La Resistance, Rob Conway, Mark Henry, & Rodney Mack 

This match is the definition of fucking broken. Horrible mess of a match. Henry pins Bubba off a worlds strongest slam. After the match, La Resistance throw Spike over the top rope and miss the fucking table so he eats actual shit on the floor. Love to see this dumb shit. Almost like this company needs a performance center, am I right?

Match rating - 1/2*

Backstage, Eric Bischoff is with Coach and Al Snow. They’re mocking JR and King. Eric makes a tables match for Unforgiven. Gail Kim walks up and seduces Eric for some reason as the cameras fade. 

JR & King run down the Unforgiven card. Funniest part of this is JR saying “we might just lose our damn jobs at Unforgiven” when they are talking about their tag match with Al Snow & Jonathan Coachman. 

Shane McMahon is here via satellite for an interview. Shane is riled up talking about that SICK BASTARD Kane. Eric splices himself in and starts poking fun about Shane getting his nuts electrocuted the other week. Eric then announces that it’ll be a Last Man Standing Match between Shane and Kane at Unforgiven. Shane says “SCREW YOU ERIC” and Eric says “no… I just screwed you.” And JR follows it up the only way he can.. “Bischoff is a no good son of a bitch.”

Back to the ring for some bullshit.

5) Scott Steiner vs. Stevie Richards 

“This is not Stevie Night Heat.” -Jim Ross

Another waste of time. Steiner wins. Test is at ringside with Stacy whom he just won "possession" of not long ago. And for some reason, they're doing another match between the two that they set up after this match. But this time Test wants to put Steiner's "services" on the line as well. Whatever the fuck that means. 

Jonathan Coachman and Al Snow hit the ring next. They basically put embarrassing photos of JR up on the tron and try to antagonize him into coming to the ring which he does. Lawler follows him. Coach says this is a man's world and JR is just a yellow coward redneck. JR throws a punch and floors Coach. Snow tries to step in, but Lawler stops him. 

Goldberg and Triple H come out for their mystery partner tag match. Eric Bischoff introduces Ric Flair as Triple H's partner and... Randy Orton as Goldberg's. Flair, Orton, & H all jump Goldberg and H asks for the steel cage to be lowered down. They beat Goldberg to a bloody pulp and wipe the blood all over the title. H gets down in his face and shows him the bloody title and says it's his and no one is ever taking it from him. Best part of this for me was Goldberg botching the first pedigree attempt and JR howling that he had just been “gut and quartered” at the hands of Triple H.

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