Sunday, January 9, 2022

Ruthless Aggression Era Project: WWE Smackdown Review - May 1st, 2003

WWE Smackdown 
May 1st, 2003
Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar (since 3/30/03)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (since 2/6/03)
WWE Cruserweight Champion: Matt Hardy (since 2/23/03)

LATER TONIGHT: Mr. McMahon confronts Mr. America in Piper's Pit

Backlash replays air to start the broadcast. 

1) Eddie & Chavo Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore 

Eddie & Chavo stole the titles from Haas & Benjamin, the champions, and they come out with them here. Hilarious. So yeah this rocked. As you’d expect. All these guys are masters at TV wrestling and you can’t really ask for me a suffice, solid ass opener than this. The Guerrero’s isolate Hardy. Moore gets the tag eventually and it’s a blast. Crash Holly is at ringside and they do some good shit where he’s on the apron and the ref is too busy occupied with Chavo to notice. The Guerrero’s overcome and win with the frog splash when all is said and done.

Match rating - **3/4

Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas storm the ring to try to get their titles back from Eddie & Chavo after the match, but they fail. Eddie & Chavo smirk as they back up the ramp with Team Angle’s titles. 

Josh Matthews’ dorky ass asks Steph who Mr. America is. Steph says she signed him sight unseen. She’s about to go into his locker room when Benjamin & Haas storm up. Perfectly timed segment. They want the Guerrero’s to give them their titles back. Steph says she will make them give them back, but Haas & Benjamin did cheat in the title match the other week so at Judgement Day, the Guerrero’s get another shot at Haas & Benjamin in a LADDER MATCH. 

Replays of Big Show & Rey Mysterio’s history. 

They show Steph coming out of Mr. America’s locker room and she looks like she done fucked up..

2) The Big Show vs. Funaki 

Pretty great squash here. I really think Big Show’s 2003 has been underrated. It’s not like some amazing shit but so simple and consistently solid. Unique strength showcase spots to make Show look dominant coming out of his brutal assault that injured Rey Mysterio.

Match rating - **

Steph is staring into space in her office. Some staff guy comes in and lets her know her dad, Mr. McMahon is on the way. Man.. she is stressed. Clearly because Mr. America is Hulk Hogan and she signed him by accident. 

A-Train runs into Big Show backstage and they hug and shit. THA BIG BOYZ. 

LATER TONIGHT: Dawn Marie & Nidia vs. Torrie Wilson & Sable .. lord help us all 

JOHN CENA IS HERE. He raps about how he busted Brock open on Sunday. Cena says the REF WAS HIS DOWNFALL. And all Brock got was cheap shots. Cena says he has no respect for that piece of.. SHIT. Before you know it.. Brian Kendrick’s music hits and oh man he’s dressed as like Vanilla Ice or something. Oh man this is fucking great. Kendrick says his name is Spanky and is talking in an accent. Kendrick says he has a rap for Cena, but he needs a beat.

Cena looks at Brian Hebner at ringside and says “come here white boy” and asks Brian to give him a beat. and hE ATARTS BEATBOXING IN THE MIC LMAO. This is amazing. Spanky raps and it rules. Spanky and Brian Hebner dude holy fucking shit. The crowd goes nuts. The commentators are cracking up. This is a blast. Cena gets mad and destroys Kendrick with a lariat then hits him with the FU. This was good SHIT PAL.

The Full Blooded Italians are in their room or whatever. Nunzio tells Stamboli to take care of Chris Benoit tonight. And that match is next..

3) Chris Benoit vs. Johnny “The Bull” Stamboli (w/ Nunzio & Chuck Palumbo) 

“I was in a fight once.. in junior high school.” -Michael Cole 

Benoit & Stamboli wrestle around for a few minutes and it’s solid. Nunzio tries to hop in with a steel chair and Rhyno runs down and nails him with a spear. The ref tells Tony Chimel to announce that this is now.. A TAG TEAM MATCH! PLAYA! 

4) Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs. Johnny Stamboli & Chuck Palumbo (w/ Nunzio)

This is also solid. The Italians isolate Rhyno and we get an awesome Benoit hot tag and before things can get fully going or to a satisfying finish, Palumbo catches Benoit in a predicament and pins him.. damn. 

Match rating - **1/4

Stephanie McMahon is in the parking lot calling her dad to say there’s no need for him to come to Smackdown tonight when a Hummer pulls up. Brock Lesnar hops out. Steph asks why he’s here because he’s supposed to have the night off. Brock says he has something to take care off. Steph uncomfortably says “okay..” as Brock walks off. Things are out of control, poor Steph :/ 

HERE COMES THE PAIN. WWE Champion Brock Lesnar is headed to the ring when we come back from commercial. He says John Cena put up a hell of a fight on Sunday, but tonight he’s here to pick another fight. He calls out The Big Show for bullying Rey Mysterio and it’s some amazing ace babyface shit. I fuckin loved it. He calls Big Show out AND DARES HIM TO TRY AND BULLY BROCK LESNAR BY GOD. Show comes out, but says he will only come to the ring if Brock puts the title on the line. Brock agrees, but then Show says he accepts the offer.. but not tonight. 

5) Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas vs. John Walters & Eric Stevens 

This happens and it’s a fine squash. Haas hits an awesome double leg on Steven’s and he & Benjamin make quick work of him. 1 2 3 goodnight. 

Match rating - *

After the match, Eddie & Chavo Guerrero come out to return Haas & Benjamin’s belts to them, but in the process steal Kurt Angle’s Olympic gold medals that they have with them. OH MAN. Haas & Benjamin can’t win for losing LMAO. 

Piper’s Pit with Mr. America is next. Mr. America comes out to Hulk Hogan’s music and is clearly Mr. America. Vince comes out after “Mr America” denies being Hogan. Vince knows it’s him and yells and shit. Vince fires him but the catch is he signed with Steph and there’s an ironclad clause that he can’t be fired or suspended. Shit pops off and Hogan takes out Piper, Vince and Sean O’Haire to close the show. 

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